No Strings Attached?

When I first saw the 'No Strings Attached' trailer, I thought to myself… I would like to watch this show… mainly because I have always enjoyed Natalie Portman's acting. Hence, when OMY Blog Club sent out an email to say that they had 40 preview tickets available, I jumped at the chance to be one of the first to catch the show.

The key question posed in the show is of course… Friends with benefits… does it work? I think most of us know the answer to that. It will never work for long as one party will end up falling for the other, and the other is simply not ready to invest anything more than just sex. It was still fun watching the chemistry between Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher as the plot unfolds…

Even though the plot might be a tad bit predictable, I did glean some interesting tips for all you single guys out there from this show. :)

1. Wearing your heart on your sleeve. Ashton Kutcher played the male lead Adam. Adam is such a sweet and sensitive guy, and his friends are always giving him funny advice. However, one thing I have to admire about Adam is that he really dares to just wear his heart on his sleeve and just put himself out there. Upon the suggestion of his friend, he actually visited Emma (played by Natalie Portman) at her work place with a balloon. For you guys out there, you do not always have to come across as macho and aloof. Sometimes, wearing your heart on your sleeve is sweet too. But always be sincere and genuine about it of course.

2. Planning a great first date. Finally after being sex friends for ages, they decided to go on a real first date. I love the fact that Adam dressed up for the date. Gave her 'flowers'. Planned the entire date and even had an itinerary! And they did so many interesting things together, not just your usual dinner. Guys, if you do not know this already, women do not like men who are indecisive. As much as you would like to give her a say or a choice, truth is, we will be extremely impressed if you have taken the initiative to give us a surprise by planning a great date!

3. Standing your ground even when it hurts. In real life, you would think that the guy would be the one who falls for the girl and as a result the whole friends with benefits relationship will break down. However, in the show, it was the other way round. When Adam wanted something more than just sex, and Emma just couldn't seem to reciprocate. Adam finally took the painful decision of putting a stop to it all.

The scene where he told her, "I can't keep doing this. I am not going to see you again…", it was quite heart-wrenching to watch as you know how much he loves her.

The problem with many nice guys out there is… they just simply do what the girls want. They do not stand their ground. And at the end of the day, the girl just tires of them because the girls just feel that they are spineless and cannot stand up for themselves or what they believe in. There's nothing wrong in being nice. But know this, you want her to respect you, to look up to you. And if she's wrong, you have to put a stop to it.

Would I recommend this movie? No Strings Attached might not make it to my favourite romance comedy list like Love Actually, 50 First Dates or While You Were Sleeping… but it's 100% funny enough to have you in stitches, and it's definitely eye candy galore for both the female and male movie goers with two very good looking leads Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. And the bonus… you might even learn a thing or two about dating and relationships!

So what are you waiting for? Go catch it with your special date this Valentine's season! :) Check here for movie times!

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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A Heartwarming Note from a Reader!

Dear Readers,

I received a very heartwarming note on a Monday morning. It really instantly brightened up my day, and it was a great start to the week. It is from one of my LUNCH Actually clients who is also my blog reader. Have checked with her if it’s ok to publish her note in my blog, and she has given me permission… so here it is! :)

***

Hi Violet,

Firstly, just want to say that you and your team has done a great job in introducing men to me. Thank you so much! The men are mostly of pretty good quality, but I guess perhaps at times its really the chemistry that is lacking. Secondly, your blog has been really insightful, especially your tips on relationships.

Now for the good news – I got attached 2 weeks back! He is not from any agency but from my church. And it is a big surprise to me because when I first met him early last year, he was not exactly someone I would even consider. He did not meet any of my so-called criteria. I did not even want to talk to him or meet up with him. But as time went by, we got involved in religious activities together, then somehow started spending more time with each other, and before I knew it, we got together. It was a very natural progression, no fireworks or big drumrolls or whatnot, but we just became “inseparable”.

One of your recent posts struck me – it is true that sometimes you may state down whatever criteria you have, but at the end of the day, when you have found someone you can really communicate with, someone you can be totally comfortable with, and someone who shares your goals, visions and outlook in life, a lot of things really don’t matter. Like he doesn’t meet my height criteria, he’s not even Chinese, he’s not the high-flier I wanted, but yet with him, I can be totally myself. I can say what I want anytime I want, I can be totally outspoken and opinionated, I can tell him off, and he still accepts it. He is not the eloquent guy I wanted, but between both of us, we can talk non-stop, joke, make corny remarks and whatnot.

So at the end of the day, I believe once we’ve found a companion, all other “criteria” really don’t matter. What’s important is looking towards the same direction and how both get along with each other. Having said that, things look rather promising for this relationship, so I would like to put my membership on hold for now. Once again, thanks so much for the great job you’ve been doing!

Best Regards,
Celia

Her advice to all of you out there who’s looking for love is, “…not to write anyone off just because the other party may not be “fitting” at first instance. I’m glad I didn’t in the end!”

So, never give up and keep an open mind! :)

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Film Review: Twilight

A few weeks ago, Jamie and I went to watch Twilight at the cinema.

Ironically, it was Jamie who suggested that we watched it because so many of our female friends have been swooning about how the main character (Note: Edward Cullen played by Robert Pattinson) is the ‘perfect guy’. So being the analytical person he is, he wanted to know why they thought he was ‘perfect’.

And so, the show began.

At the end of the show, I told Jamie… “I would have enjoyed the show a lot more if I did not watch it with you!” Haha… you know why?

He was just like making faces at me throughout the show. Luckily he was the one who suggested we watched it, if not I will never hear the end of it! Haha… the expressions that he was pulling were of, “Omigosh, I cannot believe that we are actually watching this!”

After he has gotten over his trauma, we started to analyze the show. And we deduced that the reason that women are so crazy about the show, or more so the main character is because…

1.       He’s tall, dark (or in this case fair), and handsome.

2.       He’s mysterious.

3.       He’s strong. Yes, so strong that he can just block a truck coming your way at 100km/h with one hand.

4.       He is a superhero. He has amazing speed. He can climb trees, and he can show you the most amazing sights.

5.       He’s sensitive. He reads. He’s intellectual. You look into his eyes, and you can look into his soul.

6.       He’s always there. Lurking in the shadows to make sure that you are safe. And he would even sneak into your room just to watch you sleep.

7.       He will do anything for you. Even it means sacrificing his own life.

Ladies, if you have anything else to add to the above list, please feel free to do so. J

Jamie being ever the realist said, “Hey, do you think the girl (Note: Bella Swan played by Kristen Stewart) will still think it was sweet if he was short, fat and ugly? She probably would think that he’s some weird stalker! “

Haha! J

Anyway, since I am a girl, the show worked for me. I mean the author of the book got the characters and the plot right. She knew what would tug at a girl’s heartstring. And the casting people did a good job as well.

Did you know that the Twilight series are actually located at the ‘Teen Romance’ section of the bookshop? But after the movie, women in their 20s and 30s flocked to bookstores to get the books, and the bookstores actually did not expect this surge of demand!

On the other hand, from a professional point of view, I am quite concerned of the effect of such a story/movie having on our society or maybe girls in general.

The truth is… guys who are tall, dark/fair and handsome usually have more attention from the girls than they can handle. And as a result, some of them end of with this sense of ‘entitlement’. Their mindset is… “Only the most beautiful girl can be my girlfriend.” As for the alpha male… guys who are strong and powerful… chances are they would not be a SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy). Think Russell Crowe. And men who have a sensitive soul , men who would do anything to please a girl… these are men that many women would label as soft and total pushovers. In other words, guys that women are generally not attracted to.

Don’t get me wrong. I really enjoyed the show. And yes, he’s cute! J But I sure hope that our teenage girls are not in the process of being brainwashed to think that the world is full of men like that. And men who are otherwise just cannot cut it.

What are your thoughts? J I would especially love to hear from the guys!

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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