Life Lessons

A couple of days ago, I turned 30.

Strange enough, I have been looking forward to this day. Because my real age has finally caught up with how old people think I am. I know, it is bizarre right? I apparently look so old that since like 4-5 years ago, people think that I am 30+. Sob sob. I remember a few years ago when I was 25, a newspaper article actually quoted that I am 35! Aiks!

On a more serious note. When I turned 30, I took time to take stock of my life thus far.

I feel extremely thankful and blessed.

My dearest hubby Jamie threw me a surprise birthday party in Malaysia among my dearest and closest family and friends. (I must admit that it wasn’t as much a surprise as he wanted it to be since he had my mum as an accomplice! Haha! My mum kept asking me questions about the party?!) But I was really surprised by the big group of people that he managed to gather, and of course, really surprised by his poem recitation! It was really funny, because at first he told me the poem was… “Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I don’t know what happened, but I love you…!” I was like… err… but the actual poem was a really meaningful poem about growing old together.

People often tell me how lucky I am to have such a sweet and romantic husband. I am extremely thankful for my hubby who has been very supportive of all my endeavors throughout the years. And I would like to take this opportunity once more to thank him again.

J, thank you for loving me! Especially during times when I am not so ‘lovable’.

I am thankful for my 2 beautiful children. I guess all parents think that their children are beautiful. Haha! Knowing that many of our friends are finding it hard to conceive despite being healthy young adults, I know our children are our little miracles, as I actually have endometriosis, a condition that affects fertility rate by 40%.

And my parents. Who have been extremely self-sacrificing and supportive of Jamie and myself. Even though they have been quite shocked by their crazy daughter on several occasions, one being when I told them I am quiting my cushy job to be a… matchmaker! They have recovered to be our biggest and most ardent supporters. I love you, pa and mi!

On some days when things are not going that well, I will sometimes question my choice of career path.

Have I had doubts? Of course I have. I am only human. Strange as it might sound, being a matchmaker can sometimes be quite a thankless job. But of course, I am very thankful for the clients who appreciate us for our efforts.

Taken in 2005, a much slimmer and younger version of me

On my 30th birthday, surrounded by my family, relatives and friends, I am once again reminded that God must has given me all these blessings for a reason and a purpose. To steer me on a mission to help more singles out there to find happiness… to be, meet and choose the right person.

A HK journalist asked me recently, “It is not easy to matchmake, or to help people get married, what motivates you?”

My reply was… Step by step, one at a time.

My dearest readers and friends… thank you very much for your love and support all these years! Reading your comments, or knowing that you like the blog post always put a smile to my face!

As I turn 30, I will charge ahead (b)older and wiser, with renewed hope and vigour!

One of my resolutions for this year is to update my blog once a week! So this is my first step…

Stepping into February (my favourite month because it’s V-Day, and it’s my month of birth ), I am having a good feeling about this year! Have met a lot of incredible, amazing and nice people in the last 30 odd days. Come to think about it… I have been extremely productive in the last 30 odd days (Pat pat myself on the back! Haha!)

Ok… on a more serious note, I feel truly blessed… I have learnt a lot from all the wonderful sharing – people sharing with me their life and business experiences.

It makes me start to ponder…

There are times in my life when I feel really down and depressed, and everything seem to be going wrong…

And there are times when everything seem to be smooth sailing, and I will be happy and upbeat…

The truth is… happiness is indeed a choice.

In our busy lives, many things happen in a day. Some might frustrate us, but some will make us smile. It is up to us to decide how we want to react, and how we want to make out of our day.

I realize that when I am less ‘neurotic’, I tend to have a better day. I don’t stress over the small things. I take joy in the little things. And I am thankful and grateful for the people around me, and their efforts.

I always tell my clients.

Success in dating is like anything else in life… it is about having an open mindset and a positive attitude.

People like to be around happy, positive and optimistic people. Because they hope that some of your happiness will rub off them! Nobody wants to be around a constantly frowning and scowling person. Or someone who just keep complaining about everything under the sun.

So, how is your day so far?

Good? Bad?

It is all about interpretation, and the attitude that we choose to adopt!

Have a happy day!

Some guys have asked me in the past what would make a perfect proposal… Here are my thoughts and views… those of you who are now happily engaged or married, please feel free to contribute your thoughts!

You have been dating for close to 2 years now. And things are going really well. She laughs at your jokes, even when most people think you are really corny. You are comfortable enough to fart in front of her, and she hardly cringes. She’s great with your dogs or your sister’s kids. You can totally imagine growing old with her, and being with her for the rest of your life.

Yes, you are ready to propose.

If you are tempted to just casually ask her to marry you over the phone when you next speak to her, I will stop you right there. A marriage proposal is something that your girl would take very seriously. And it is an occasion that friends and relatives would ask for details for years to come. “So how did he propose?” You do not want her to say, “Ah well, it was really boring. He asked me to marry him over the phone.”

You want to give her a proposal to remember – a proposal that she will be proud to tell over and over again, and each time she retells it, she will remember how much effort you have put into it, and how thoughtful you are, and how much you love her.

So, how do you go about it?

Here’s a 5-steps approach that would result in your perfect proposal!

Step 1: Telling her parents

If you have been dating seriously, chances are you would have met up with her parents. By informing them, you would have scored Brownie points, as her parents would be really impressed that they have such a sensitive future son-in-law. Some guys I know even involve her parents in the proposal process as the girl is really close to her parents. Of course, there would be exceptions. If your girlfriend is estranged from her parents, skip this step.

Step 2: Getting the ring

Some girls like to choose their own engagement rings, but I personally think that takes out the surprise element of the process. And it’s not as romantic. If you have previously spoken about marriage, then you probably would have a good idea of the type of ring that she likes. Or if not, enlist the help of her best friend or sister who usually would be more than happy to help you out.

Step 3: Thinking about the setting

Think about your girl’s personality. Would she prefer a more intimate setting, where there are just two of you? Or does she prefer to have an audience?  If she likes to have an audience, then indulge her, and give her a big one. Try to recall the proposals in movies that she said, “Aww… that’s so sweet!”

You could consider doing something totally out of the ordinary e.g. on a hot-air balloon, or on top of Mount Kinabalu if both of you are avid trekkers, or even proposing over the radio. Or you could surprise her in the course of a normal day. Like when she’s coming home from work, and when she opens the door, there you are, kneeling down on one knee with the ring, with flowers in the room. Or when you are at both your favourite restaurant and she finds the ring on the dessert platter.

The options are endless, and it is up to how creative and memorable you want to make it.

Step 4: Be formal

As you know, this scene is going to stay ingrained in her mind, and would be retold to friends, choose your words carefully. Do not trivialize it by saying, “So, wanna get married?” Stick to the traditional, “Will you marry me?” As for whether to bend down on one knee, this would depend on the setting. However, do consider whether to do it, especially if your girl is the more ‘old-fashioned’ or the ‘romantic’ type, as she may well be expecting it and would be utterly disappointed if you didn’t.

Step 5: Be prepared for her answer

If you have come to this stage, chances are you are quite sure that she’s going to say yes. But just in case, do prepare for the 0.001% chance that she might say no, or she needs to think about it.

And so if she’s says yes, rejoice with her! Dance with her. Hug her. Swirl her around. The worst thing that can happen at this juncture is an excited girl with a guy with a blank look on his face.

And finally, a word of advice… when you are thinking about your proposal, stay true to your relationship and who you are. Remember the reason you are doing this – you are asking the woman you love for her hand. A proposal with ‘the full works’ might work for some relationships but for others, it might be the recital of a handwritten love poem or a song declaring your love.

I wish you luck and may your relationship be filled with much love, joy and laughter!

This article first appeared on New Man Magazine, Malaysia.

7 more hours, and we will be in 2010.

While the family sleeps, I am stealing some time to take stock of the year that is about to pass…

2009 is the year we welcome to our world our little princess Cara Krysania Lee. We wanted to name her Crysania Kara Lee, but nobody seemed to be able to pronounce her first name, and after she is borne, we felt that Cara suits her better. She’s a perfect little addition to our family. She’s demure and ladylike whilst Corum is loud and boisterous. She looks absolutely gorgeous in pink, and Mummy really enjoys dressing her up. Corum just turned 3 and is growing up well. He just said, “Mei-mei is the best sister ever! I love Mei-mei!” Daddy whispered to me, “But he only has one Mei-mei!” Oh well, it’s a good start…!

2009 is the year of travel. I have been travelling so frequently that sometimes I do not even bother to unpack. The worst travel stint was when I arrived back at Changi Airport at 12am, and I have to go back again at 6am. I have come to the conclusion that unless you are flying business class, business travel is so NOT glamorous!

2009 is the year my best friend Tsiao Yi got married to her university sweetheart Tow. And I was the matron of honour. The reason I flew across the globe to attend her wedding having only delivered a baby 6 weeks earlier and amidst the height of the H1N1 flu scare (other than she’s my best friend), is because I wanted to support them in their journey of love. Tow is battling cancer, and he’s in an advanced stage. Some people might think it’s crazy that they are even contemplating marriage but the love that they share is so pure, so sincere, so true that I wanted to be part of their beautiful wedding tapestry.

2009 is the year that Jamie and I got baptized. For myself personally, I seemed to have played a game of hide and seek with God in the last 20 years. And finally in 2009, I have found my way home.

2009 has been an extremely tiring year on the business front. I feel that I have been fire-fighting most of the time. And being an entrepreneur of 5 years, thinking I am no longer a ‘greenhorn’, I was not prepared for it. Especially since I was heavily pregnant with Cara… But I honestly believe that God will never throw you something that He thinks you cannot handle… We had to make some tough decisions. It was not easy but hurdle after hurdle, challenge after challenge, obstacle after obstacle, Jamie and I overcame them.

2009 is a year of reflection. I wondered if what I am doing is enough to help singles out there find love. Sometimes, it seems like such an uphill task…. A drop of water in the vast ocean.

As professionals and executives, we all have our criteria and preferences. We all believe ourselves to have attained a certain status in life and we have the right to demand and expect. It’s only normal.

So, it is so difficult to share with singles to look beyond the façade, to see beyond the superficial attributes, to ask yourself does that quality really matter when I am old and wrinkled… Hence, I am so heartened to know that one of my readers have actually stepped out of her comfort zone and she is now happily seeing someone whom she would in the past never consider.

That gave me a glimpse of hope that I am actually heading in the right direction. This year, I have started running my workshop for single ladies again, sharing with them on how to be, meet and choose the right one. Men, don’t worry… I am not trying to leave you out, but for now, my focus is on the fairer sex.

A big thank you to my team at Lunch Actually and Eteract. You ladies and guys have worked so very hard. Jamie and I really appreciate your effort, your loyalty and your dedication.

To my ‘Ba’ and ‘Mi’, I do not know what I will do without your selfless and tireless love.

To my parents in law, thank you so much for your time and your love for us and our two children.

To my dearest girlfriends and guyfriends, thank you for keeping me grounded and sane… as I will always be Yan when I am with you.

And to my dearest hubby, we have been through this very eventful year together. It wasn’t all rosy. But just like our wedding vows, “in good times and in bad times, when life seems easy and when life throws us challenges and difficult decisions…” WE MADE IT! And we have come out of it stronger! Thank you for being my anchor, my rock, my pillar of strength. I love you!

As the curtains fall, I bid 2009 a bittersweet farewell. It has not been easy, but there have been many beautiful rainbows that made up for the heavy storms. And… there are hopeful glimpses of what the future holds.

My dearest readers, Happy New Year!

I have signed up for the Standard Chartered Marathon 2009.

Before you get too excited… no, I did not sign up for the full marathon. Not even the half. I signed up for 10km.

If you are a seasoned marathon runner, you probably are thinking… “Chey…” Haha!

But if you know my fitness level… then you would think that I have gone out of my mind! The last time I did any real exercise was when I was 15 or 16, and that was like more than 10 years ago!

And if you are wondering…

“Why in the world then did you sign up for a 10km run?”

Well, I have wanted to start an exercise regime for the longest time, and I thought what would be a better way to jump start it than to set a goal? And that was why a few months ago, I decided to sign up for the run!

Did not push too much thought to it, until a couple of days ago…

I was thinking… oh no! I have not trained for it at all! Apart from getting a pair of swanky running shoes, I pretty much have not done anything.

I started to panic… What should I do? Should I drop out? But my pride did not allow me to… haha!

So, I came up with a plan… since I am going to torture myself, why not come up with a motivation plan?

Hence, I decided to run for a cause! To provide vaccination for 100 children in Bangladesh, a program supported by World Vision. And get my friends to support me. And the support has been overwhelming!

Instead of helping to vaccinate 100 kids, I have enough support to vaccinate 200 kids! Isn’t that amazing? I love my friends!

So, here I am. Just came back from my training. I know, I should have started months before…

Got my entry kit today, and saw the route map… looks pretty scary…

But I have a motivation… to help 200 kids!

Violet, you can do it! Jiayou! (Self-motivation!)

Watch this space, I will update you on how it went!

A while ago, I attended a relationship seminar. As part of my profession, I constantly go for seminars to learn from other experts. And this time, it is a seminar by a couple – Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn.

One of the most interesting takeaways I had from this particular seminar was…

Respect to Men is like what Love is to Women.

So what does that mean exactly?

A lot of times in a relationship… men and women have conflict… over money.

Especially when the man loses his job. Or the woman gets a pay rise, and now earns more than the man.

Sometimes, the woman loses respect for the man. She does not mean to. But we are so hardwired to think that the man is supposed to be the provider. He is supposed to bring back the bacon. And suddenly, when she becomes the main provider, the dynamics of the relationship begin to change.

Coming back to… Respect to a Man is what Love is to a Woman.

As a woman, we expect to be loved no matter what. We feel that we deserved to be loved by our man. No matter how good or bad we have been. It is supposed to be a given.

And hence, it is actually the same for a man. He expects to be respected no matter what. He does not need to earn it.

According to a research done by the Feldhahns, apparently, men are willing to leave a relationship if they felt they are constantly being disrespected, even though they knew for sure that their partners love them.

How does this apply to real life?

Was a speaker at a recent matchmaking seminar in Singapore. Was asked this question…

Violet, does a relationship work if the woman earns more than the man?

Actually, the crux of the matter here is not the salary. It is about each party playing their role. The woman can be the sole breadwinner, and the man can be a house husband and they still can be happy, if the woman shows the man that she respects him and his contribution to the family; and the man shows the woman love.

The problem is when the woman starts to resent the man for not bringing home the bacon, or start showing him contempt because she feels that he no longer deserves her respect.

In a relationship, it always takes two hands to clap. Respect and love come hand-in-hand.

Dear Readers,

I received a very heartwarming note on a Monday morning. It really instantly brightened up my day, and it was a great start to the week. It is from one of my LUNCH Actually clients who is also my blog reader. Have checked with her if it’s ok to publish her note in my blog, and she has given me permission… so here it is!

***

Hi Violet,

Firstly, just want to say that you and your team has done a great job in introducing men to me. Thank you so much! The men are mostly of pretty good quality, but I guess perhaps at times its really the chemistry that is lacking. Secondly, your blog has been really insightful, especially your tips on relationships.

Now for the good news – I got attached 2 weeks back! He is not from any agency but from my church. And it is a big surprise to me because when I first met him early last year, he was not exactly someone I would even consider. He did not meet any of my so-called criteria. I did not even want to talk to him or meet up with him. But as time went by, we got involved in religious activities together, then somehow started spending more time with each other, and before I knew it, we got together. It was a very natural progression, no fireworks or big drumrolls or whatnot, but we just became “inseparable”.

One of your recent posts struck me – it is true that sometimes you may state down whatever criteria you have, but at the end of the day, when you have found someone you can really communicate with, someone you can be totally comfortable with, and someone who shares your goals, visions and outlook in life, a lot of things really don’t matter. Like he doesn’t meet my height criteria, he’s not even Chinese, he’s not the high-flier I wanted, but yet with him, I can be totally myself. I can say what I want anytime I want, I can be totally outspoken and opinionated, I can tell him off, and he still accepts it. He is not the eloquent guy I wanted, but between both of us, we can talk non-stop, joke, make corny remarks and whatnot.

So at the end of the day, I believe once we’ve found a companion, all other “criteria” really don’t matter. What’s important is looking towards the same direction and how both get along with each other. Having said that, things look rather promising for this relationship, so I would like to put my membership on hold for now. Once again, thanks so much for the great job you’ve been doing!

Best Regards,
Celia

Her advice to all of you out there who’s looking for love is, “…not to write anyone off just because the other party may not be “fitting” at first instance. I’m glad I didn’t in the end!”

So, never give up and keep an open mind!

When meeting up with potential clients, I will ask them what they are looking for in a potential partner.

Must be attractive. Big eyes. Slim.

Tall, broad shoulders, extroverted, must make me laugh.

These are just some examples of basic dating preferences.

Many a times, when singles list down their ‘I-Want’ list, it is based on things that would spark off infatuation, or chemistry. The things that make our hearts race.

However, the truth of the matter is, infatuation lasts, on average, 3 to 12 months. When the chemical reaction in our brain subsides after a year or so, you begin to see your partner in a different light. All of a sudden, the things you used to think was really endearing becomes really annoying.

And you suddenly realise that you do not even know this person. You have nothing in common. You have nothing to talk about.

People often say, it is different when you are looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend vs. when you are looking for a husband/wife. I believe that there is some truth to that.

When you are looking to spend the rest of your life with someone, we are looking for long term qualities.

For some, the question might be, “Is he reliable and dependable? Is he patient and kind?”

For others, it could be, “Would she be a supportive wife and a nurturing mother to our children?”

And a very important question to ask, “Do we get along well? Can I imagine him or her as my best friend?”

After all, a good marriage should be friendship on fire or friendship magnified.

What is your list of traits and characteristics that you want in your long-term partner? Most companies have a mission statement. Lunch Actually’s mission statement reads:

Lunch Actually exists to create a solution for single busy professionals who do not have the right environment to meet other like-minded people as a result of their busy and hectic work environment.

We believe that every individual deserves love, respect and companionship. Thus we strive to create supreme value and provide immaculate service to address the needs of the people we serve.

Jamie and I created this mission statement to remind ourselves why we started this business in the first place. Because in business and life, sometimes, you will lose your way. And you will forget, what was the purpose of it all?

Same with finding love.

What is your dating mission statement?

What are the traits you are looking for in your long-term partner? Ponder upon it. It would be even more powerful if you could write it down. Because along the way, you might be swayed by your biological and short-term needs. These short-term needs unfortunately do little to contribute to the success of a long-term relationship.

You might ask me at this point.

“Violet, why can’t we have it all? Someone who will fulfill our short-term biological needs as well as our long-term relationship needs. “

Of course that would be most ideal. But when we are searching for a partner, we make our choices, and others make their choices as well. He/she is your cup of tea, but you might not be theirs. And at the end of the day, do we want to be going around in circles and never meeting the right one, when the right one could be just right under our nose?

When I was looking for a potential partner, I thought I definitely wanted someone who is muscular, extroverted, and the life of the party. Those who know my hubby Jamie would know that he is anything but those criteria. I was looking out for my short-term biological needs when I put down those criteria. Muscular and well-built so I feel secure and protected. Extroverted would suggest that he’s fun to be with.

But when it comes down to it, all of these are not important because he might not be much of a talker in front of others, we can talk and talk and talk. 9 years after we first met, we still spend hours talking to each other every day. Does not matter he might not come across as the most witty and fun person, but we sure have lots of fun hanging out with each other.

And I am definitely very different from his initial list of ‘I-Want’. You can ask him to share them with you when you meet him.

So, what is your dating mission statement?

Are you looking for a short-term biological relationship?

Or someone whom you can share the rest of your life with?

Happy contemplating!

P/S For my readers who are already dating, or happily married, do you have any related stories to share?

Po-po said,”Corum, follow Po-po say… Wo Ai Ma Ma (I love Mum in Mandarin)!”

Corum said,”No Po-po! It’s Mummy!”

He had my mum and I in stitches!

Having a chat with hubby just before we go to bed. And we were talking about what some singles are looking for. And sometimes, why some singles have so much difficulty finding love even though they keep searching for it.

Hubby said,

“What they are looking for is happiness…”

“Yes, I agree…” I quipped.

“Maybe you should tell them that sometimes, happiness does not come in 1.75m.”

Often, many of us girls are wired to look for the perfect package. Tall, handsome, witty, charming, sense of humour, confident…

But when it comes down to it, does it really matter how tall he is, or how witty and charming he is if you cannot find happiness with him?

Happiness can be lurking around the corner, and sometimes, it comes in the most unassuming of “packages”.

The lighting of the unity candle.

A very meaning symbolism of the merging of two families, the coming together of two individuals. The 2 tapered candles are usually lighted up by the mothers of the bride and groom. And after the lighting up of the unity candle, the tapered candles will either be blown out to indicate two lives have been united permanently or left burning to indicate that the two even though married will still retain their individuality.

Personally, I like the idea of the merging of the two flames, and the blowing out of the individual flames. Not that I do not believe in individuality. But I believe that marriage is a covenant. And from this day onwards, nothing will be as important as your marriage. The marriage will always come first, no matter what. I remember a sermon I heard in Hong Kong. The pastor, a very wise man said…

“If you cannot put your marriage and your spouse first, do not get married.”

It sounds like such a simple piece of advice. So straightforward, so precise… that you would think that it should not be too difficult to follow. But I am beginning to see that it is easier said than done.

In our modern life right now, there are so many things, so many commitments that compete for our time. We have our job, our interests, our friends, our need for space, our quest for freedom, our ambition for success, our lust to travel around the world…

And when there is a conflict, we usually find a way to justify our own decision. Even if the right answer is pretty simple and straightforward if you follow the wisdom of the above advice.

Is that why divorce rate is on the rise?

For the past week, I have been travelling. However, I have been very hesitant to tell people where I am going. Because telling people that you are going to US, is like telling people you have AIDS. The reason that despite the H1N1 flu, I have decided to make a trip to US is to attend my best friend’s wedding.

Tsiao Yi and I have been best friend for the last 16 years. And that’s actually more than half of my lifetime. So, even though I was quite concerned about H1N1, I thought about it long and hard. I knew that if I make the decision not to go, when I look back in the future… I will really regret not attending my best friend’s wedding. And by then, it would be too late to turn back the clock.

Tsiao Yi and Tow Shung have dated for 9 years. They have decided to get married on 06.06.2009. And actually, this is the exact date that they got together 9 years ago. So they are actually celebrating their 9th year anniversary!

If you look at them on their wedding day, they look like any other blissful newlyweds. But the truth is, Tow Shung is actually battling cancer. For the past 2 years, he has been undergoing chemotherapy. At an age where most of us are thinking about advancing our career or planning for our next holiday, Tsiao Yi and Tow have been going in and out of the hospital. Not that it is an alien concept to them as both of them are doctors. But this time, he is the patient.

One of their friends May Ling (an extremely nice lady, and a mother of 5) put it very succinctly. Most brides to be would be very flustered before the wedding worrying about the flowers, the makeup, or the dress. But Tsiao Yi is worried whether Tow gets his chemo on time. It really helps the rest of us put things into perspective.

One thing the pastor said really put tears into my eyes. He said, “Tow, I look into the eyes of this woman standing next to you now. And I can see that she loves you very much.” When he said that, tears just welled up in my eyes. And I had to try very hard not to cry as I was part of the wedding party standing at the altar.

In my matron of honour speech, I said:

Tsiao Yi and Tow Shung have been through many ups and downs. But most important of all, when life dealt its harshest blow, they held on to each other, supported each other and spurred each other on. This has made their relationship stronger than ever. And their love, their commitment, their devotion for each other, has been an inspiration to us all.

My best friend’s wedding is a reminder… to not take the little things in life for granted. And also to not sweat the small stuff.

Dearest Yi, once again, thank you for asking me to be your matron of honour. I am so extremely honoured to be your best friend, and thank you so much for your unwavering friendship. May your marriage be blessed with much love, laughter and happiness! I have no doubt you and Tow Shung will have a blissfully happy marriage…

Dearest Friends,

We have come to the end of the year 2008. In another 7 hours or so, we will be ushering in 2009.

It’s quite funny, I was looking back at my goals that I set for 2008, and I have to say that I have not been very successful in fully implementing most of them. There are some health goals, personal development goals and spiritual goals.

In terms of health goals, I wanted to take up yoga this year. Well, I did sign up for a class, which I did not manage to attend most of the time. Then I signed up for a yoga membership! (Yes, I never learn…) And then, I got pregnant, and decide to defer it till next year. So, I still have not advanced very far in that goal.

And in terms of the business goals, truth is… I am quite happy with our ‘report card’ this year…

1. Launch of Matchmaking Institute, South East Asia, and have run 3 courses so far.

2. Launch of ADAMS (Association of Dating Agencies and Matchmakers of Singapore).

3. Launch of LUNCH Actually, Hong Kong! This is like a dream that I have had ever since we started LUNCH Actually… to eventually go regional, and this is our first step!

4. Having lunch with Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the Istana! Wow… I wonder if I would ever get such a chance if I was not in the dating & matchmaking industry.

5. Jamie & I were one of the Honourees for Spirit of Enterprise Award 2008.

6. Both LUNCH Actually & Eteract.com were among the pioneer batch to be accredited by the Government’s SDU Trustmark. LUNCH Actually received CASETrust Accreditation.

7. Attended quite a number of clients’ weddings, sharing in their bliss and happiness. And knowing that there are LUNCH Actually babies out there, and more on the way…!

And yet, it just never feels good enough.

I was quite down for a while yesterday, when I spoke to a single lady in her late 30s. I know that based on her profile and preferences, I am not able to sign her up as a member, because many guys in our database are looking for younger ladies. I explained the situation to her, but she got quite upset with me. And after I put down the phone, I was quite sad. I am upset because after 5 years in the industry, I am still not able to help these older ladies. I wonder if we ever can…

In terms of personal development goals, I wanted to complete my Advanced Communicator Silver for Toastmasters, but unfortunately I did not get very far. I did take part in the Humorous Speech Contest this year, and got as far as the Division Level. And… I forgot my speech half way. Stood there for 30 seconds. And then recovered. Can you believe it? I did not forget my speech at Club or Area Level, but it had to happen at the Division Level! Nonetheless, it was a good learning experience, and I learnt a lot from the more accomplished speakers.

The one goal that I have set, and I felt that I have accomplished is my spiritual goal. Last year, at about this time, Jamie and I decided to start attending church again. And our goal was to attend church regularly. Apart from some missing weeks here and there, we are on track. I must say Jamie and I have benefited so much from God’s Grace this year. Many times, we are tasked with facing difficult decisions or challenges, and God has answered all our prayers.

Many have predicted 2009 to be a challenging year in terms of the economic outlook.

I am preparing myself for an interesting year ahead. I am optimistic and I believe that there would be even more opportunities out there for us to reach out to more singles and help them find their happiness. 2009 is also the year that Jamie and I will be welcoming a new addition to our family. Did I tell you my Babe kisses my tummy now when I ask him to ’sayang’ (love) his Mei-mei? Oh ya, we are expecting a girl!

As this year comes to a close, I would like to take the opportunity to say a big thank you the kind souls who have made a big difference in my life this year.

My ever-doting parents who give unconditionally. My in-laws & my extended family for their support, especially with Babe when Jamie and I are at work. Yin Yin & Vincent for being so wonderful and supportive, and walking with my parents’ in their journey with Christ. My girlfriends, you know who you are, for lending a listening ear, for believing in my dreams, and simply letting me be me. My team at LUNCH Actually & Eteract for working so hard throughout the year.

And… as always, I save the best for last… :) My dearest husband, without you, I will not be able to accomplish half of what I have done this year. You are truly my inspiration, my unwavering supporter, my pillar of strength. Thank you for putting up with my ups and downs, my crazy mood swings, my PMSes. I know you already know this, but I can never say it often enough… I love you!

To all my dearest friends and readers out there, Happy New Year! May the new year brings you much joy, laughter and happiness!

Love, Violet

P/S A new poll is up, go vote!

Often, it is the little things in life that makes you feel touched…

Flew to Hong Kong this time on my own as hubby is unable to come along due to heavy workload.

Checked in at Terminal 3. Lady at the Singapore Airlines check-in counter asked when I am due, and we made some small talk.

Arrived at HK International Airport. Was pleasantly surprised to see my luggage already waiting for me even though I was out fairly early after clearing the immigration.

Found a bright orange tag tied to my bag. The lady has thoughtfully tied a ‘Priority’ tag reserved for Business Class passengers to my bag as she did not want me to wait too long for my luggage, with my big tummy.

Am so touched.

Wish I had caught her name, so I could write in to compliment her on her thoughtfulness.