Ask Violet!

I often get asked, “Do pick up lines work?” 

From the last I checked, no girls will appreciate you telling her that her father is a thief and stealing the stars and putting them into her eyes. Cheesy pick-up lines in general do not work.

And if your plan to charm her is to compliment her on how beautiful she is, chances are to an attractive lady who has been hit on 10 to 30 times a day… you probably would come across as tiresome, unoriginal and insincere. On the other hand, if you approach an attractive lady the same way as any other guy i.e. “Hi, I am Joe, I would like to get to know you,” you might come across as boring and predictable. Attractive women who has heard this line hundreds of time usually lose interest very quickly.

So, the crucial factor here is to attract her naturally engage her into a conversation.

Hence I would recommend conversation starters as compared to cheesy lines that sound insincere or bland “I want to get to know you” lines.  Try asking a question which engages her into a natural conversation. Be flexible to adapt that conversation starter to the situation you both are in. If you both happen to be at a seminar, you could even simply ask her how she felt the speaker was and progress from her answer.

Besides knowing how to engage her naturally in a conversation, what is even more important is how you embark on it. 

Say if a person tries to engage a lady in a conversation and he is visibly quaking and stuttering as he goes about it.  As he is conversing, he is deadly serious, unsmiling  and stiff as he tries to talk to her.

Compare that with a man who has calm and comfortable body language as he approaches the lady. He says what is needed in a casual and light tone and is not afraid of the consequences. He is smiley and playful and even crack a humorous joke in the middle of it all. 

Who is the lady more likely to give her number to?

So the key is, be comfortable be in your own skin, be confident, and do not try too hard.

Happy dating!

(Note: First appeared in New Man Malaysia July 2009 Edition)

Hi Violet,

I came across your blog as I am desperately looking for an answer.  So here’s my story.  My boyfriend and I met at work.  He has recently returned to Singapore while I am staying behind in Hong Kong.  We have been having a long distance relationship for the past six months.  Everything was going very well in spite of the distance.  We were very close and talk to each other often.  We have even made marriage plans for the near future. Then about a month ago, everything changed literally overnight. He refused to talk to me after a minor argument which we could easily work out as a mature couple.  He told me to give him some time which I did.  And a week ago, he decided that we are no long compatible.  Violet, this is very hard for me to believe because he had only reassured his commitment to our relationship just the night before the ‘fight’.  What do you think is going on?  I am heartbroken and devastated.  What is wrong here?  Please help!

-J

Dear J,

Thank you for your letter.

I understand that having invested so much love and time into your relationship with your boyfriend, let’s call him X, you must be really devastated and frustrated with the current situation.

Based on what you have told me, I can’t really point out what is going on because I do not know enough, and I do not know X’s version of the story.

What went wrong? The possibilities are endless. However, one thing I know for sure is… if X had a change of heart, this did not happen overnight. Like you say, you have been sustaining a long distance relationship for 6 months. Things might look well on the surface, but he might have had a tough time trying to keep the LDR going. And when you had that minor argument, however minor, for him, it is the breaking point. Or he might not see the relationship going anywhere as he’s in Singapore and you are in HK. And even though he really IS committed, he just does not see a future.

Bottom line is, there is no point for us to speculate. The best way to know what went wrong is to talk to him. See if there is anything you can both do to work things out.

If he is reluctant to talk, then just move on. There is no point trying to beg him to stay. The more you call him and SMS him, the more you will be seen as ‘lower value’ to him.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to be strong, and work on being a better and stronger person. And by then who knows? He might be the one coming back to beg for your forgiveness. And it will then be up to you whether you still want him back.

I know things are not going to be easy. In these times, support from friends would be most important. Hang out with your girlfriends, take up a new hobby, go on a trip you have always wanted to go and eventually, you will meet someone who will cherish you for who you are. Jiayou!

Take care.

Love, Violet

Readers, please do feel free to chip in to help J out, thanks!

Everybody around you is talking about the recession. You heard through the grapevine that your company is planning to do another retrench exercise. It’s time to tighten up on your spending. As you know, dating is about impressing.

So how do you cut down on your spending, and yet not come across as a cheap date? Here are 6 creative date ideas that you can implement to recession-proof your dating!

1)      Play tourist: Tired of the same old hangouts? Always going to the shopping centres for coffee or dinner? Break the routine. It’s time to play tourist. Grab a copy of the local map, and go off the beaten track. Bring your camera along and take lots of photos of what you see and of each other!

2)      Be a volunteer: When you give, you will receive. What better ways to impress your date by showing her that you have a BIG heart? Look out some local charities and see how you can help out. If both of you are animal lovers, head down to SPCA and help them out for a day. Or you could visit an old folks’ home to bring some cheer to the elderly folks. Take this opportunity to get to know your date better, as you see their compassionate side.

3)      Visit the flea markets: Women love to shop! Offer to drive your date to one of the flea markets in town, and spend time exploring the various booths with her. She will be really impressed to finally meet a guy who is willing to shop with her!

4)      Move that dinner date to picnic under the stars: Rather than the boring (not to mention expensive) dinner date, move it one notch up by dining under the stars! Romance her with your prepared picnic basket of champagne and strawberries. Do remember to bring along insect repellent to keep the mozzies away.

5)      Cook up a storm: They used to say, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” In today’s world, I think the same applies for women as well. Rather than pay hundreds of dollars for a 3 course dinner, why not cook your own dinner? Your date will definitely be touched by your culinary efforts.

6)      Watch the sunset together: Stroll down the beach together, hand in hand. It’s beautiful. It’s romantic. It’s sweet. And most importantly, it’s free.

The key here is to be creative and innovative. Put some thought into it, and think of something that you’ll both enjoy doing. The more personalized the experience, the better it is. The great thing about being on a budget is that you are forced to think out of the box, and this will make the date a unique experience! And when it is an all new experience for her, it would make the date, and you, more memorable!

Happy dating!

(Note: First appeared in New Man Malaysia Oct 2009)

This is a new series that I am starting – Dating Advice for Guys (DAfG).

***

Often in your dating journey, you will encounter someone whom you are deeply impressed with. Your friends will ask you to stop dreaming as they think that she is out of your league. Well, truth is, there is no harm trying right?

So first and foremost, the F word. How do you conquer the fear of disapproval and rejected?

Fear of rejection is detrimental to your dating life as it will make you freeze and stop you from functioning properly. You might be so uptight that you might start stuttering, your words coming out all wrong etc. Chances are you fear rejection because you have been rejected so many times and you are afraid that it is going to happen again. The thing is you are probably lacking in confidence. So if you build up your confidence using the steps stated below, you probably would have a foot in.

Step by step guide to boost your self confidence:

(a)    Change your mindset: Often, it’s all in the mind. You have to change the messages that you are telling yourself over and over again. Instead of saying thing such as, “I am such a loser, no girls will like me,” or “I am not successful enough, I am not funny enough,” try changing these lines to positive affirmations of yourself. Be positive. “I am sociable.” “I am confident.”“People will accept me.” “Girls will find me attractive.” Once you start to believe them, the way you carry yourself would be different.

(b)   Step by step: Do not jump into the deep end. If you are shy approaching women whom you are interested in, or your long-time crush, start taking baby steps by talking to women whom you meet on a daily basis e.g. the cashier at the supermarket. Just by saying hi and asking them how they are doing, will eventually help you build up confidence on approaching ladies.

(c)    Keep at it: Along the way, you might feel uncomfortable with all the changes that you are making to your life, or you might not see any improvement despite having make changes. Like anything else in life, it takes time. So set a medium to long term goal, and keep at it. Do not give up like after a week.

The secret is really to just get a conversation going. And once you do that, things will just fall into place. Even if she does not happen to immediately agree to go out on a date with you, you have made a new friend, and who knows where that would lead to. If you have been using rehearsed pick-up lines, maybe it is time to stop and be more genuine and more natural.

Now that you have boosted your self-confidence, here is your game plan for snagging a girl who is ‘out of your league’:

(a)    First and foremost, realise that beautiful, smart, rich women are people as well. They are not goddesses, even though you might see them as such. Hence, stop being intimidated. If you cannot get over this fact, you are unlikely to succeed.

(b)   Next, do your research. You might be surprised but the more beautiful or attractive or rich or smart a woman is, chances are she can be quite insecure. She is constantly worried that guys are only after their looks, or their money etc. Hence, the question is, how do you make her feel self-assured? Be a good listener, be a good conversationalist.

(c)    Women who are “out of your league” generally would have many suitors. Hence, they have had many experiences listening to bad pick-up lines, or men trying to flatter them, or men trying to worship the ground they walk on. Hence, do not ‘suck up’ to them. The more you do it, the less value you have in their eyes.

(d)   Know your strengths and play them up. Create situations or scenarios where you can show off your unique qualities and impress her. E.g. if you are a talented singer, or if you can cook really well. When you are doing something you are comfortable in your own skin, you will appear confident and attractive.

(e)   Last but not least, re-examine your objective of approaching women who are out of your league. Is it because you are looking for a trophy girlfriend or wife? Is this girl truly compatible with you? Do you like her for the right reasons? Because sometimes, there are girls whom you might not be attracted to initially, but you guys are actually a match made in heaven.

Happy dating!

(First appeared in New Man Magazine August 2009)

As a modern-day matchmaker, many single guys ask me the question “How can I get ladies to go out with me?”

As for the ladies, they often raise the question – “How can I get my guy to commit to me?”

For the guys who ask such a question, usually they are at a point where they have low confidence, because they have been rejected many times in the past, and are afraid of more rejections.

For the ladies, they probably have been going out with the guy for ages now only to feel that the relationship is going nowhere despite everything they have gone through together and the sacrifices she has made for him.

So the simple answer to these two questions “How can I get ladies to go out with me?” and “How can I make my guy commit to me?” in my humble opinion, is:

“You don’t”.

You can’t make them to suddenly decide to go out with you, or decide to commit to you. There is no magic potion out there that can make that happen. If I do have that magic potion, I would become an instant millionaire!

What you have to do is… simply become the man they WANT to go out with or the lady they WANT to commit to. It is a matter of switching your perspective and changing your perception.

It is difficult to “get” or “make” someone to do something for your benefit.

To get the results you want, you have to work on yourself. You have to be the type of man that women are attracted and are excited to go out on a date with. Or you have to be the right kind of lady that men cannot wait to commit to and never want to leave.

Many a times, nice guys get rejected not because they are nice. It is because they lack self-confidence when interacting with women. Instead of leading and being decisive, they ask permission for everything and they feel absolutely lucky when a lady shows them any attention at all. This kind of behaviour does not inspire any interest from the ladies.

For the ladies, they fear that by dropping hints or forcing the issue on their guy, they would chase the man away. Hence they hope and pray for the day the man would “realise” how well they have been treated and take action. They are unaware that the man has grown comfortable with the status quo and as the years go by, they do not see any reason to change the status quo as they are getting what they want out of a relationship anyway.

And for some ladies who come in the mould of the modern career woman, they sometimes bring their career mindset right into their relationships. They challenge every issue and they must always have the last say. Because this mindset and attitude work so well for them at work, they cannot shake it off when they are dating. I always tell our lady clients; please leave the fist-thumping at the boardroom! Because some of these ladies come across as so aggressive, when the men imagine their lives together, they see a marriage filled with disharmony and arguments. And this frankly will scare off most men.

The above examples might be stereotypical situations but they are actually very common issues faced by both men and women, especially in a world where gender roles are becoming more and more confused. There is an increasing frustration towards dating and relationships.

As Publius Ovidius Naso aptly said nearly 2000 years ago, “If you want to be loved, be lovable”.

Might seem passé, but it still rings true 2000 years later.

To enjoy the dating process, the focus should always be on the person you are and not the person you want the other person to be. We can only pray and hope that the other person will change. He might change, or he might not change. But with ourselves, if we put our minds to it, we can make those changes almost instantaneously!

Happy Dating!

Reader Fiona sent in a question – “Is he interested in me? Should I wait for John, or go out with Steven?”

Dear Violet, I recently met this nice, wonderful girl. You could say she is perhaps the dream girl I have been waiting for all these while.But there is a catch here: she is a staunch Christian and it is important for her to find someone who shares the same beliefs and values as her. The problem is, I am not a Christian but I do not mind whatever faith the girl believes in. But the same cannot be said about her.

What should I do?

Sincerely, K

Dear K,

Thank you for your email!

This is a tricky one. There is no quick and fast solution. As a believer myself, I can understand where your girl is coming from. Especially, if she is a staunch Christian, I think it is probably very important for her to share her life with someone who is of a similar faith and has similar religion depth.

A few questions for you – are you open to finding out more about her religion? And are you open to subsequently converting to her religion when you are ready? If the answers to these questions are YES, then I think there is a higher chance that things could work out between the both of you.

However, like in any relationships, it takes two hands to clap. Is your girl willing to wait for you to find out more about her religion with the potential of accepting Christ one day? If she expects that the person whom she dates MUST be a Christian to start off with, I would say that it is difficult for you to change her mind.

There are many inter-faith relationships that have worked out. However, it is based on the common understanding that the couple accepts each other’s faith. There have also been cases where one party eventually converts to the other’s religion as well… but it must be of the person’s own free will of course!

To conclude, from my personal experience of working with clients of different belief systems… it is not easy to convince someone to date out of their religion preference, and I don’t believe we should persuade people to do so as well because religion is a very personal decision. And even if they reluctantly agree at this point, they would more often than not change their mind subsequently. 

All the best, and may things work out for you!

Sincerely, Violet

P/S: Dear readers, do you have any personal experiences or advice to share with K? Please feel free to comment!

Dear Violet,

My boyfriend and best friend HATE each other they fight over the stupidest resons like who do I have dinner with and who do I go to the movies with on the weekends and I can’t take it any more. What should i do???

I want to pick my bestfriend but then again what about my boyfriend he will feel left out and I want to pick my boyfriend but what about my best friend???

All I want is for then to get along but how do I do that??

Sincerely, Peace Lover

*****

Dear Peace Lover,

Question, is your best friend a guy or a girl? If your best friend is a guy, then it explains why your boyfriend does not get along with him as he might feel threatened by your best friend.

Anyway, here are 3 quick solutions to your dilemma.

1. Understand the root of the problem. Sit your boyfriend down one day, and casually find out the reason that he cannot get along with your best friend. There might be an incident that happened along the way which you have no idea of. Do the same with your best friend.

2. Clear all misunderstandings and/or mis-communication. After finding out the root of the problem, play ‘peacemaker’. Instead of trying to force them to love each other, find an opportunity where you can help to clear any misunderstandings or mis-communication.

3. Have a heart-to-heart talk with them. If all else fail, tell them how much it means to you for them not to fight all the time. And if they are mature enough and truly love you, they will make some effort to get along. Help them find some common grounds. Maybe they like a similar hobby or sports? When people are having fun, they are less likely to yell at each other.

Good luck!

Sincerely, Violet

Short Note: A new poll is up, go check it out!

Hi Violet,

My relationship ended 4 months ago and recently I decided to re-establish contact with my ex. The way the conversation went was rather one sided and after a while she got quite hostile and started to berate me for asking stupid questions and being so quiet. I tried to initiate the conversation and all I got was short one liner answers. I don’t understand why I was being treated this way when all I wanted was to just say hi. We always got along and she never gave a clear reason for the breakup. It just came out of the blue and there was no way I could salvage the relationship. Am I missing something here?

Lost

***

Dear Lost,

Thank you for your email. I totally understand how you feel and I empathise with your current situation.

First and foremost, what is your real reason for wanting to re-establishing contact? Is it to find out if there is a chance for reconciliation? Or is it to just check on how she’s doing? Either way, it is obvious that your intentions are not reciprocated.

Since she was the one who initiated the break-up, she might be feeling guilty, and she is not able deal with her guilt at the moment, hence she ended up taking it out on you.  By belittling you, she might also be justifying the reasons for breaking up with you.

I would advise you to stop contacting your ex unless she decides to contact you again. The reason is, the more you try to communicate with her, the more that she feels that your ‘value’ is not as high as hers.

Take a break! Go on a holiday. Take up a new sport or a new hobby. Meet new friends. Widen your social circle. Re-establish contact with friends whom you might have lost touch with as a result of your previous relationship.

Who knows, someday your paths will meet again, and your ex will be ready to re-establish connection.

But before that, you are better off broadening your horizons, and who knows, Ms. Right could be right under your nose.

All the best!

Sincerely, Violet

 

1. Search up a great image consultant. Revamp my image. Get a new haircut. Have a complete makeover. As they say, first impressions count.

2. Enroll in a personal makeup class. Learning from the magazines is going to take too long a time. Knowing the right techniques and skills can immediately make me feel more confident.

3. Set aside at least 2 going-out nights a week. Never mind I have no plans as yet. I will fill it up.

4. Read recommended dating and relationship books. Even if I just get one or two tip from each book, it’s worth it.

5. Search up my old address books and start establishing contacts with long lost friends or colleagues. You never know where you will find love. Or they might know of someone who is a good match for me.

6. Take up a new hobby that I have always wanted to do. Re-discover my passion for life, as people who are passionate about life are attractive.

7. Be a happy person. Men searching for love are looking for a woman to make their life happier. Nobody wants to date a girl who is negative and complains all the time.

8. Join one or two reputable dating service. It’s all about casting your net wider. There probably are some quality men who join dating services that I would not meet on my own.

9. Make myself available. Let my friends know directly or subtly that I am up to being a fourth wheel should she go out with her boyfriend and boyfriend’s friend.

10. Go for networking events. Be friendly and approachable. Be genuinely interested in people. And follow up whether it’s a girl or a guy. You will never know who you will be introduced to by my new friends. It’s always good to be widening my social circle.

11. Hire a dating coach. It’s better to know where I am screwing up, and what action steps I can do to drastically bring me up the learning curve.

12. Stop wasting time staying at home. Realize that I am not going to meet any single and available men by staying at home doing my laundry.

13. Stay positive. Because I know that the most important thing is to have a positive mindset. Things might not go my way in the beginning, and I might even encounter many challenges along the way. The important thing to know is that I am getting closer to my objective with each step that I take.

 

Hi There

I found your blog on romance tracker. I wanted to ask you a question. I have a friend who I may have feelings for. I have never had feelings for someone before and it is pretty scary. Basically it makes my day to just get and email from her. What my question is, is how do I know whether she has feelings for me or not. I am an introvert so talking to her is difficult but we do have a friendship which I feel is pretty strong.

I know she is not ready for a relationship yet but I just want to know how I can see what her feelings are toward me. I am happy if it’s just friendship or if she might have feelings for me I can wait until she is ready for a relationship. I am 29 and she is about 32.

Thanks!

Anonymous

***** 

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for your email! Sorry I have taken some time to get back to you, but I have been extremely busy. Hope it is not too late…

I think in any relationships, one of the most important ingredients is sincerity. Take tiny steps. If you ask her out for a date, and she does not decline you, she probably is looking to explore this relationship further. With each tiny step, you will have a better idea of her feelings for you. And as you get to know her better through each date, you will also know for yourself whether this is the right one for you.

There are many different levels of love. The type of love that we first experience is often ‘biological’. And sometimes ’significance’ – wanting someone to be always there for us, having a companionship, or being seen as special to that someone.

However, the type of love that lasts a lifetime is a different type of love altogether. It is what I call ‘meaning’. As you have stated in your email, she might not be ready at the moment for a relationship. However, you can build ‘meaning’ with her. With both of you having a strong friendship, that is a good start. The best relationships or marriages are when the couple are best friends, and they just love to spend each and every minute with each other.

Here’s to wishing you all the best, and may you find your happiness soon!

Sincerely, Violet

Hi Violet 

I found your website by chance 10 mins ago as I was browsing the web looking for some Help since I am soaked into relationship misery.  I am not sure if its appropriate writing to you, but guess I am at my desperate end to try this.  I am a married woman, with 2 young children.  My husband works overseas.  I am in a relationship with a colleague for past 2 year plus … before my husband was posted overseas.  There is no doubt that there is a communication gap between my spouse and me, that creates chance to accept love from another married man with a child.  I have stopped loving my husband, I am just an obliging wife and mother.   

The past 2 years had been a coaster ride for me and my colleague (lover).  We tried countless times to end the relationship, but we failed as well.  Last night I told him about breaking up, and he accepted… But we are feeling so tormented today and filled with anger with each other that we have to come to end this relationship.  Seriously both of us are not able to give up our family to be together, as I personally think that the risk is too high and we would cause tremendous hurt to our family members.  But keeping both of us separated is driving us crazy… I am so afraid that we will break loose of our self control and dive into something horrendous.  Why? Our love is just too deep I guess. 

Can you please share some light with me? How I should handle the double life I am having? In my heart I deeply wanted to patch up with my lover, but I know I am heading an endless road, with no road sign and direction… It’s just so torturing    I would greatly appreciate any advice from you. Thank you..  From L    

 

 

Dear L, 

Thank you for confiding in me, and I am sorry I have taken some time to get back to you.  Firstly, I think you must analyse why you started an affair in the first place. Is it because you are having problems with your husband? Or is it because there are problems at home and you were looking for someone’s shoulder to cry on? Or is it because after being married for some years, and as things became mundane, you were lured by temptations? 

The reason I feel that you have to make an analysis is because, it is only when you can understand the source of the problem, you can solve this.  If you have been having problems with your husband from the start, then perhaps you could consider marriage counselling? I understand that your husband has been posted overseas and as a result would not be able to be there for you and your family. However, you must share your feelings with him, or perhaps both of you could work something out i.e. you relocate with your family to be with your husband? Or perhaps could he get a job closer to home? 

I understand that you have been trying to break off from your lover for countless times but have not succeeded. I think the problem is… you probably have not found enough reasons to break off from the relationship? First and foremost, I think you should sit down and ponder on the reasons why you should break up with him. You already know that you are causing a lot of hurt to your family, but by listing all the reasons down, you will be able to see the picture a lot clearer. 

To increase your chances of success, perhaps you could confide in a close friend who will be your ’supporter’. When the goings get tough i.e. you feel like calling him… you can call your friend instead. 

I am not sure if your husband knows about your affair. If at the moment, he is still in the dark, then you have to decide whether you want to tell him the truth. Sometimes, being totally honest might not be the best decision. However, you need to also consider, what if he finds out from someone else?  L, I understand that you must be very confused at the moment. But I would like to urge you to bring a closure to this affair. Even though you might feel that you have no more feelings left for your husband, but to be fair to your family, you have to try to salvage your marriage. I wish you all the best and I hope you will find true happiness soon! Take care! 

Sincerely, Violet  

 

Violet, 

   

I known M from the net since September last year and we become closed as brother and sister. But the feelings grow more deeper. I fall for him and he told me the same thing that he love me too since day 1. The relationship goes on and we become more close and intimate. We never met and just contacting each other tru the phone and online. We even exchange pictures and gifts. But the problem is he is a married man. Married for 12 years and without kids. At the beginning of our “bro & sis” thing… he told me all his problem – family problem, his relationship with wife, financial problem and many more. I started to feel pity and that makes me care and love him more.

Lastly we declared as lovers after 4 months knowing tru the net. He told me that he wants to marry me when he settled down his divorce case with his wife. He claimed that he’s not happy with his wife and his wife doesnt respect him as a husband. He told me these before we reveal our feelings to each other.  

Violet, Im not sure whether im taking the right decision. Please help me. Do i have to continue our relationship or to i need to step out and leave? I never told this to anyone…and i cant bear any longer for not sharing with someone and i thought that you’re the right person to seek for advices.

Thanking you in advanced violet…and God bless.

S

Dear S,

Thank you for your email!

I am sure you are feeling very lost and confused at the moment. You are wondering what is the right thing to do. Your head tells you one thing, but your heart tells you the other. There are many women who have been in your situation, and most often than not, it does not end up well. Of course, there will be cases where the man actually divorce his wife, and then live happily ever after with his true love. But those cases are rare.

There are several questions you have to ask yourself:
(1) Is this truly love, or is your maternal instinct taking over? Are you feeling sorry for him, and you want to look after him?
(2) If this man is as good as he sounds, would he be cheating on his wife? If he can cheat on the woman whom he is married to for 12 years, what makes you think he is not seeing another woman apart from you?
(3) Have you met him face-to-face? From your email, I am not sure whether you have actually met up with him. Sometimes people are not who they seem, they might portray themselves differently online and offline. There are many ‘cheats’ and ‘conmen’ out there, and the easiest way to prey on unsuspecting ladies is through online. So please be careful. If you are meeting him, make sure you meet at a public place, or bring a friend with you.
(4) Do you know him enough to trust him? Have you met his friends or colleagues? What you know about him now is what “his side” of the story. How do you know if he is telling the truth?

S, there are plenty of fishes out there. Do not tie youself down to someone who has strings attached. If he truly loves you, then he would divorce his wife first, then start a relationship with you. Why would a man put the woman he loves at the side line?

Meanwhile, occupy yourself with new hobbies and activities. Widen your social circle. Go out with your friends. And who knows, you might meet the right one along the way.

Take care! And do email me again if you have any problems. All the best!

Love, Violet

Tags: dating+married+man, relationship+advice, love, dating, romance, advice