Q&A with Violet: Should I Settle?

Question: I have several eligible well educated graduate single girl friends who do not want to settle for less or outside the norm or can't find the push for marriage. Norm as the guy should be older, financially better, taller, holding better job, if he owns property n car, then preferably same type or better than theirs. Would like to hear your advice for them.

Violet: My advice would be, firstly, they are choosing others, others are choosing them as well. These guys that they are looking for are probably the most "eligible" guys in "society standards". As a result, these men are highly sought after and have many choices and might not choose them.

Ultimately, your girlfriends have to ask themselves – what truly matters in a relationship or a marriage? 

Is it the car he drives, the number of properties he owns, the job he holds? Because he can lose his car, his properties and his job.

Or is it a man who stays loyal to you, a man who helps out with the kids and your elderly parents, a man who supports your dreams wholeheartedly, a man who will be a witness to your life journey – the ups and the downs, a man who will look after you even when you are old and wrinkly? These men do not always come in the "package" they expect.

Trust me, if your friends are wise enough to see beyond the superficial dating criteria, they are not settling. They would be on track for a much happier relationship and marriage.

#1millionhappymarriages #betterlifetimerelationships #LunchActuallyGroup

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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