Violet’s 3 Secrets to a Happy Marriage! (Part 3)

This is the 3rd and last part to this series. Click here to read the first part of this series and click here to read the second part of this series.

Secret No. 3: Embracing Each Other's Imperfections

I am sure many of you who are based in Singapore would remember this TV ad – Beautifully Imperfect. If you cannot remember it, you can watch it here.

 

Many people go into marriage thinking everything will be perfect. Sometimes, I think it is bad that we try to make our wedding perfect. After such 'perfection', some people go into their marriage having an expectation that everything will be perfect and their marriage will be a bed of roses. But since we are humans, we can never be perfect. If two imperfect people come together, there are sure to be some imperfections along the way.

I love this story that my friend told me about her friend X. So what happened was, X kept trying to change her husband. Her husband had a bad habit of discarding his clothes on the floor after he takes them off. And this would really annoy her a lot. And they will end up quarreling. So after years of trying to change her husband, she finally decided to change herself. She decided to accept her husband for he is, and discarding his clothes on the floor is something that he will always do. It does not mean that he is a bad husband or a bad father. I thought that was pretty hilarious I first heard this story, or maybe it was because my friend was a really animated storyteller. As extreme as this story might sound, sometimes it is just as simple as that. 

Sometimes, we just need to embrace our partner's imperfections.

Back to me. I have so many flaws. I think if I were to write them all down, it's going to take up too much space. 🙂 And my hubby Jamie too has his little imperfections which I don't think would be nice for me to reveal in public space. 🙂 The way we have been able to live harmoniously, at least 90% of the time is to embrace these imperfections, and these imperfections will even grow on us.

Ok, I will let you in on a little secret. I drool when I sleep. YES, I DO! Some of you might be thinking… "EEEKKKSS!" I know, I know… I wish I could find a way to stop this. But apparently, it has to do with the structure of my mouth. Anyway, Jamie can either complain about how my drool is all over the pillows, or he could create a cute little pet name for me based on this imperfection. 🙂 I am sure you can guess what he did.

So here you have it, my 3 little secrets to a happy marriage:

1. Choosing the Right Mate

2. Agreeing on Money Matters Early

3. Embracing Each Other's Imperfections

If you are married, what are you own little secrets? Do share them with us! 🙂

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Ms Matchmaker’s Guide to Hong Kong #4: THE Makeover

 

Some of my lady clients at Lunch Actually simply refuse to believe me when I tell them,

"There are no ugly women, only lazy women…!"

Hence, I was extremely excited to find out that 4 of us (Elaine, Geck Geck, Gin and I) would be undergoing a makeover by Celebrity Stylist Celia Wong! Celia is a well-known stylist in Hong Kong and she has worked with stars such as Kelly Chen and she has also been featured in various magazines.

Our first stop was of course Celia's store/office somewhere at Causeway Bay. The name is cute! dada! 🙂

Celia started out by asking us about our preferred style and our objective for the makeover. For me, I told her that my usual dress style is 'corporate', so I would like to try something different… perhaps something more 'lifestyle'. And I did share with her that my favourite colour is purple.

She got to work really quickly, and chose a purple dress for me. But subsequently, she felt that the dress might not be the best choice, so she chose a second attire for me. I must honestly say that what she has chosen for me is not what I normally would wear… but I guess that's what a makeover is all about right? 🙂

Here's the 'BEFORE' photo, courtesy of Alvin from omy.sg.

Actually, that's not really the 'BEFORE' photo since I had some light makeup on. The following is really the 'BEFORE" photo… after my makeup artist Anita from Make Up For Ever Academy has wiped away the makeup from my face. 😉

As you can see from the BIG grin on my face, I am rather pleased with the make up!

I am so amazed by how BIG she has made my eye appear! I really believe that makeup can do wonders! However, that did take about 1.5 hours though… 🙂

And the 'Finished Product'?

What do you think? 🙂 I am still not sure if this is something I would wear on a regular basis, but it's good to know how I would look in something more frilly and feminine. 🙂

And the team that made it all happen! Celia and Anita!

And here I am, with the rest of the girls – Geck Geck, Gin & Elaine, together with Celia. Photo courtesy of Elaine.

Actually, I have done quite a number of makeovers in the past when I am interviewed by some magazines. But this is the first time that I have had the chance to capture the 'Before' and 'After' process. And I am so happy to share these shots with you.

I hope this has proven once and for all that by spending some time and effort, we can all look absolutely gorgeous and beautiful! 🙂

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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