I often get asked, “Do pick up lines work?” 

From the last I checked, no girls will appreciate you telling her that her father is a thief and stealing the stars and putting them into her eyes. Cheesy pick-up lines in general do not work.

And if your plan to charm her is to compliment her on how beautiful she is, chances are to an attractive lady who has been hit on 10 to 30 times a day… you probably would come across as tiresome, unoriginal and insincere. On the other hand, if you approach an attractive lady the same way as any other guy i.e. “Hi, I am Joe, I would like to get to know you,” you might come across as boring and predictable. Attractive women who has heard this line hundreds of time usually lose interest very quickly.

So, the crucial factor here is to attract her naturally engage her into a conversation.

Hence I would recommend conversation starters as compared to cheesy lines that sound insincere or bland “I want to get to know you” lines.  Try asking a question which engages her into a natural conversation. Be flexible to adapt that conversation starter to the situation you both are in. If you both happen to be at a seminar, you could even simply ask her how she felt the speaker was and progress from her answer.

Besides knowing how to engage her naturally in a conversation, what is even more important is how you embark on it. 

Say if a person tries to engage a lady in a conversation and he is visibly quaking and stuttering as he goes about it.  As he is conversing, he is deadly serious, unsmiling  and stiff as he tries to talk to her.

Compare that with a man who has calm and comfortable body language as he approaches the lady. He says what is needed in a casual and light tone and is not afraid of the consequences. He is smiley and playful and even crack a humorous joke in the middle of it all. 

Who is the lady more likely to give her number to?

So the key is, be comfortable be in your own skin, be confident, and do not try too hard.

Happy dating!

(Note: First appeared in New Man Malaysia July 2009 Edition)