Looking Back at 2008…

Dearest Friends,

We have come to the end of the year 2008. In another 7 hours or so, we will be ushering in 2009.

It’s quite funny, I was looking back at my goals that I set for 2008, and I have to say that I have not been very successful in fully implementing most of them. There are some health goals, personal development goals and spiritual goals.

In terms of health goals, I wanted to take up yoga this year. Well, I did sign up for a class, which I did not manage to attend most of the time. Then I signed up for a yoga membership! (Yes, I never learn…) And then, I got pregnant, and decide to defer it till next year. So, I still have not advanced very far in that goal.

And in terms of the business goals, truth is… I am quite happy with our ‘report card’ this year…

1. Launch of Matchmaking Institute, South East Asia, and have run 3 courses so far.

2. Launch of ADAMS (Association of Dating Agencies and Matchmakers of Singapore).

3. Launch of LUNCH Actually, Hong Kong! This is like a dream that I have had ever since we started LUNCH Actually… to eventually go regional, and this is our first step!

4. Having lunch with Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the Istana! :) Wow… I wonder if I would ever get such a chance if I was not in the dating & matchmaking industry.

5. Jamie & I were one of the Honourees for Spirit of Enterprise Award 2008.

6. Both LUNCH Actually & Eteract.com were among the pioneer batch to be accredited by the Government’s SDU Trustmark. LUNCH Actually received CASETrust Accreditation.

7. Attended quite a number of clients’ weddings, sharing in their bliss and happiness. And knowing that there are LUNCH Actually babies out there, and more on the way…!

And yet, it just never feels good enough.

I was quite down for a while yesterday, when I spoke to a single lady in her late 30s. I know that based on her profile and preferences, I am not able to sign her up as a member, because many guys in our database are looking for younger ladies. I explained the situation to her, but she got quite upset with me. And after I put down the phone, I was quite sad. I am upset because after 5 years in the industry, I am still not able to help these older ladies. I wonder if we ever can…

In terms of personal development goals, I wanted to complete my Advanced Communicator Silver for Toastmasters, but unfortunately I did not get very far. I did take part in the Humorous Speech Contest this year, and got as far as the Division Level. And… I forgot my speech half way. Stood there for 30 seconds. And then recovered. Can you believe it? I did not forget my speech at Club or Area Level, but it had to happen at the Division Level! :) Nonetheless, it was a good learning experience, and I learnt a lot from the more accomplished speakers.

The one goal that I have set, and I felt that I have accomplished is my spiritual goal. Last year, at about this time, Jamie and I decided to start attending church again. And our goal was to attend church regularly. Apart from some missing weeks here and there, we are on track. I must say Jamie and I have benefited so much from God’s Grace this year. Many times, we are tasked with facing difficult decisions or challenges, and God has answered all our prayers.

Many have predicted 2009 to be a challenging year in terms of the economic outlook.

I am preparing myself for an interesting year ahead. I am optimistic and I believe that there would be even more opportunities out there for us to reach out to more singles and help them find their happiness. 2009 is also the year that Jamie and I will be welcoming a new addition to our family. :) Did I tell you my Babe kisses my tummy now when I ask him to ‘sayang’ (love) his Mei-mei? Oh ya, we are expecting a girl! :)

As this year comes to a close, I would like to take the opportunity to say a big thank you the kind souls who have made a big difference in my life this year.

My ever-doting parents who give unconditionally. My in-laws & my extended family for their support, especially with Babe when Jamie and I are at work. Yin Yin & Vincent for being so wonderful and supportive, and walking with my parents’ in their journey with Christ. My girlfriends, you know who you are, for lending a listening ear, for believing in my dreams, and simply letting me be me. My team at LUNCH Actually & Eteract for working so hard throughout the year.

And… as always, I save the best for last… :) My dearest husband, without you, I will not be able to accomplish half of what I have done this year. You are truly my inspiration, my unwavering supporter, my pillar of strength. Thank you for putting up with my ups and downs, my crazy mood swings, my PMSes. I know you already know this, but I can never say it often enough… I love you!

To all my dearest friends and readers out there, Happy New Year! May the new year brings you much joy, laughter and happiness! :)

Love, Violet

P/S A new poll is up, go vote! :)

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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6 Comments

  1. Yan, it’s great to be able to share your journey with you and to watch God’s grace and hand upon you and your family.

    take care.. still looking forward to be able to catch up with you face to face! It has been a while since i last saw you!

    [Reply]

  2. Wow, congrats on the new baby. I guess your eldest will now have to learn a new word… Siobe. :-D

    A belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your loved ones, Violet.

    [Reply]

  3. Hi Violet!
    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog!
    Wish you extended your services in the U.S.!
    Keep up the excellent work!

    Josie.
    http://www.lifeofjosiem.com

    [Reply]

  4. Congratulations for making it so far. I actually like the concept of lunch actually and wish you all the best for 2009

    [Reply]

  5. Congratulations on expecting a girl! A perfect family!

    I guess the thing about “older ladies” is not because you are not willing to help them, but rather, it is hard to change the mentality and perception of men. Men, especially those who would like to settle down, will still like someone younger and able to conceive easily, and to them, chances are older women may be past the age.

    It is not as if older women cannot be good wives whatsoever, in fact, older women bring with them more maturity and experience, and can probably handle a relationship and family life better than some younger women. To many men, even for those in their late thirties and forties, it is like if they have a choice between someone a few years younger and someone the same age, why bother with someone the same age when they can have someone younger? It is a very sad case indeed.

    [Reply]

  6. Hi Violet,

    I am an old girl, took lots of courage to decide to try match-making. My friends recommend me lunchactually, and I was determined to contact you till I read your blog. I know my comments will probably make you sad again, but just want to share my feeling and thoughts.

    I am a Singaporean, love Singapore and always wanted to marry a Singaporean. However, majority of Singapore men are too traditional, narrow minded and conservative. Are they looking for a woman to produce baby for them or a partner that they can share their life together? I have few lady married friends who didnt want to have baby at all. Me and many other older ladies are always hoping to have our babies, just need a right husband.

    Thanks for feeling for the older ladies. Not sure what can be done to change the mind of these men, but I am sure there is still some who does not mind these old ladies. Hope I could find him soon.

    Yvonne

    [Reply]

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