The Last Lecture

In the past 2.5 months, I have been making many trips to Hong Kong.

For work, I have sacrificed a lot of family time with hubby and babe. And every time I step out quietly into the dark (I usually take the 6:40am flight) to a cab to the airport, I have to muster up strength not to just lie down for a few minutes more and cuddle my babe.

One of the best things that have come out of my many trips is I have caught up on my reading. I have not done so much reading for the longest time. And this is how my ˜routine” goes. Once I have checked in, I will get my breakfast – toast, half boiled eggs and teh. After that, I will walk over to the bookstore to see what the bestsellers are.  Isn’t it amazing? At Changi Airport, even the bookstore is open at 6am! J

And the latest one that I have got my hands on is The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I first heard of him when I saw him listed on Time’s 100 most influential people of the year. He’s a professor at Carnegie-Mellon University. He has given many lectures in his lifetime, but this time, he is giving his last lecture because he has terminal illness, and has only been given a couple of months to live.

And in his lecture, and also in his book, he talks about his life, and the many lessons he has learnt along the way. The title of his lecture is “Realising my Childhood Dreams”. And as you read the book, you will delight in what his dreams were. Many of us would scoff those dreams off as impossible to achieve, and then be totally amazed when he achieves them. He has lived such an amazing and inspirational life. And he ended by saying… this last lecture is actually for his kids. He has 3 kids – 5, 3 and 18 months.

Trying to impart a lifetime of knowledge and experience in a single lecture is not easy. But I am thoroughly inspired by his life, and his love for his wife and his children.

When I read about every dream that he has achieved, I suddenly come to realization that by some strange twist of fate, I am actually living my childhood dreams.

For those of you who are thinking at this point – Violet, you mean your childhood dream is to become a matchmaker? Haha! Well, that would have made a pretty story, but fact is – no, my childhood dream is not to be a matchmaker. Actually, the younger me would be totally shocked if I travel back in a time machine to tell her that, “Hey! Guess what? In 10 years time, you will be a matchmaker!”

I have many dreams.

I have always wanted to work overseas, particularly in Hong Kong because I love the food, the vibrancy, the energy.

I wanted to travel for business. (Seems like a really good idea then, haha!)

I wanted to see my name in print. I wanted to be interviewed on TV. I wanted to be a guest on a radio talk show.

And my biggest dream of all is to help people, and in my own way make a difference in their lives.

Many of these dreams, I have never verbalized to anybody, because well, they sound pretty out of reach, and I was afraid of being ridiculed.

By God’s grace, as I make matchmaking my profession, I have realized many of these dreams in the last 4 years.

As I read through Randy’s book, many of his stories make me laugh. And many more made me cry.

But the greatest gift that he has given me is to remind me to pass it forward. As I realize my own dreams, I must never stop helping people achieve their childhood dream too.

Thank you Randy!

Note: A new poll is up! Go spill the beans! 😉

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Music and Lyrics, what comes First?

I have not written about love for months. Those of you who are my faithful readers might have realized that. Well, it is not that “I am all out of love”, but I just have not had the opportunity to sit down, be inspired to write.

Recently, hubby and I caught up on our movie marathon. You know, we love to watch movies. And before babe come along, we used to be frequent patrons of the cinema. Action, thriller, sci-fi, fantasy, war, romance comedy, slapstick – you name it, we are up for it. Well, apart from horror… haha! I do not want to waste $10 on 2 hours of hiding behind my hands. Ok, the truth is out. I am those people who would hide behind a pillow when watching horror movies on TV. Haha!

Ok, sorry to digress. So, we watched a romance comedy that I have always wanted to watch… Music and Lyrics starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. How much better can you get? Both stars are like romance comedy naturals. Remember Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill, Love Actually? And Drew Barrymore in Ever After, Never been kissed, 50 First Dates? They were brilliant in those movies. I rest my case.

I have pretty high expectations for the show. And I was not disappointed. The storyline was believable, the music was great, the acting was good, and the chemistry between the leads was definitely sizzling.

There was a conversation that really stood out for me in this movie.

Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.
Alex Fletcher: I so get that.
Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that’s the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It’s the combination of the two that makes it magic.

For a memorable song. Music and lyrics. Definitely inseparable.

I have been asked many times. Violet, how do I choose the right one?

We might not want to admit it, but many of us are guilty of this. We choose purely based on the music. It is that which hooks us in and attract our attention. And you know the worst thing? We are actually programmed to be attracted to a certain type of “music”.

And as humans, we are quick to make first impressions. If the “music” is not right, we are quick to write off the song immediately.

I have begun to realize that Drew Barrymore is right. Music without beautiful lyrics just does not cut it for me anymore. A song can never be truly unforgettable unless the lyrics have touched my soul. And often, I am attracted to a song not for its music, but because of its inspiring, enduring and uplifting lyrics.

Music first? Or lyrics first?

Choose wisely.

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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My Best Friend’s Birthday

mum.jpgToday is my best friend’s birthday.

She is 35 years older than I am. And even as she ages gracefully into her 60s, she still looks fabulous. Much to her delight, many people think she is at least 15 years younger than her real age. I wish I look like her when I am her age.

In the last 28 years that we have been friends, things have not always been smooth. We have not always been the best of friends. We have had shouting feuds, disagreements and cold wars. Many of these shouting matches ended up in tear baths.

I have not always been the most patient of friends. And sometimes, I would even be rude and obstinate. But my best friend’s motto is endure. And now that I look back, she deserves a better friend really.

She is giving and self-sacrificing. She always puts me before herself.

We have many happy moments together. And she has always been there at my side – celebrating my life milestones… my graduation, my wedding, the birth of my babe.

She is always there when I need support, a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear to vent to.

To the most amazing woman I have ever known – my best friend, my hero, my dearest mummy… Happy Birthday!

mum.jpg

(Last year’s Chinese New Year, with mummy and babe)

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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