Boyfriend vs. best friend: Who do I choose?

Dear Violet,

My boyfriend and best friend HATE each other they fight over the stupidest resons like who do I have dinner with and who do I go to the movies with on the weekends and I can’t take it any more. What should i do???

I want to pick my bestfriend but then again what about my boyfriend he will feel left out and I want to pick my boyfriend but what about my best friend???

All I want is for then to get along but how do I do that??

Sincerely, Peace Lover

*****

Dear Peace Lover,

Question, is your best friend a guy or a girl? If your best friend is a guy, then it explains why your boyfriend does not get along with him as he might feel threatened by your best friend.

Anyway, here are 3 quick solutions to your dilemma.

1. Understand the root of the problem. Sit your boyfriend down one day, and casually find out the reason that he cannot get along with your best friend. There might be an incident that happened along the way which you have no idea of. Do the same with your best friend.

2. Clear all misunderstandings and/or mis-communication. After finding out the root of the problem, play ‘peacemaker’. Instead of trying to force them to love each other, find an opportunity where you can help to clear any misunderstandings or mis-communication.

3. Have a heart-to-heart talk with them. If all else fail, tell them how much it means to you for them not to fight all the time. And if they are mature enough and truly love you, they will make some effort to get along. Help them find some common grounds. Maybe they like a similar hobby or sports? When people are having fun, they are less likely to yell at each other.

Good luck! 🙂

Sincerely, Violet

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2 Comments

  1. Hi Peace Lover
    How long have you known your best friend and b’friend?
    On the whole I’ve always been suspicious of controlling men and your b’friend sounds too controlling to me; especially if he hasn’t been seeing you for too long.
    Tread carefully – it’s tough to replace old friends…

    [Reply]

  2. Hey Violet,

    What should you do if the ‘Best Friend’ is actually a girl. How will you uncover if the reason for the love-hate relationship is because they are extremely attracted to each other!

    Mark Claudius Png

    [Reply]

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