Had the weirdest conversation with the significant other the other day.

"Hey, if anything happen to me (touch wood), you must remarry ok?"

He looked at me with a puzzled look.

"Hey, I am serious… you better make sure she is a good mother, so she will look after our darling son!"

Erm, sounds quite morbid, the entire conversation, I know. And frankly, I am also quite surprised that we were having such a conversation. The younger me would have never said something like that. I cannot imagine another woman being married to my husband, even if I am no longer around.

He kept quiet.

The significant other then said…

"You too… if anything happens to me, find a good man. A good father."

"A good husband," he added.

And suddenly, my eyes were brimming with tears.

I blinked back my tears, but the emotions were just too overwhelming.

"Ok," I said… but actually in my mind, I remembered this elderly English lady in her 70s whom I visited weekly during my boarding school days.

Her husband died when she was about 50 years old. And even though she has many male friends, and some who expressed interest and asked for her hand, she never remarried.

Out of curiosity, I asked her, "But why? Don't you ever feel lonely?"

She said, "My dear, my husband has given me so much love… and his love will last me for this life time…"

.

.

.

And maybe that is why, when I said my wedding vows 1.5 years ago… I did not say… "Till death do us part".

Instead I said,

"I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward and for all eternity."

I know…

I am a romantic.