QQ,QA #6: About Kids
“Do you think itâ€™s ok to have children without getting married? (Assuming that the couple has been together for a long time and are in a monogamous relationship)”
Think this is a very relevant topic to tackle at this point for me. After being a first-time mum and experiencing the joy of seeing your own little miracle, I really believe that everybody should experience the miracle of having children, if you are able to.
However, should people have kids without getting married? That’s a totally different issue.
My first question would be, “If you have been in a relationship for a long time, and you are in a monogamous relationship, why do you NOT want to get married?”
I have met friends who are strong advocates of living together, and not get married. They say that, “Marriage is just a piece of paper; we do not need a piece of paper to show our commitment or prove our love.”
Ok, I am fine with that.
But if it is just a piece of paper, why not just get it?
It does not make a difference to you anyway right? But it would make a great difference to your kids when asked, “Why is your surname not your dad’s, but your mum’s?” I am not sure whether the rule still applies, but from what I last know, if you are not married, the kidÂ takes onÂ the mum’s surname.
People who are adamant of not getting married even though they are in a long-term monogamous relationship are usually ‘mismatchers’ or ‘rebels’.Â They thrive on being different. I believe all of us want to be individuals, we want to be different. However, the registration of a marriage is part of theÂ legal frameworkÂ of the civilized world to ensure that things run smoothly e.g. traffic lights, courts of justice etc.
Well, I am definitely not one to enforce my opinion on others. And I do not believe that my opinion is always right. I believe that everybody is entitled to their views and opinions. And I often am wrong.
But to answer the question, personally, I would not have kids if I am not legally married.
What about you? Would you have kids without getting married? What do you think?Share on Facebook