QQ,QA #3: About Making Effort
“If one party in a relationship is making more effort than the other, does it mean your partner has lost interest? Are they just being lazy or taking you for granted? Which is worse?”
When it comes to making effort in a relationship or a marriage, we often hear ladies complaining that their other half does not make enough effort.
And when you talk to the guys, they will say that they are really making the efforts, but those efforts are never enough.
So what’s happening here?
It is the different point system that a lady and a guy keep. It goes like that. For a guy, working hard, bring back the bacon would score them say 20 points. But to their wife, it’s probably 1 point. When they buy a bouquet of flowers for that once in a year Valentine’s Day, they thought that would score them 20 points, that would also score them only 1 point. However, if they buy aÂ stalk of roseÂ for their wives for 20 days, that would actually score them 20 points!
As you can see guys, it’s the frequency that matters. You can buy her a huge gift which cost you a lot, but that would only be 1 (or maybe 2 points max). But if you buy her small gifts regularly, that would score you 1 point every single time!
Women want to feel loved and cared for. They want to know that they are loved. And how do they know that? By your daily words, actions and gestures.
As for my dear ladies, the guys are just wired differently from us! That is why they are said to be from a different planet altogether! Hence, sometimes, guess we just have to take a step back and examine whether he is really not making the effort, or are we just not appreciating the effort.
For our 1st year Wedding Anniversary, Jamie and I were actually apart due to work circumstances. I could have kicked up a big fuss (which I almost did, I have to admit). From a female perspective, I would see it as he’s not making the effort to rearrange his work schedule to make sure that we are together on the anniversary. This means that he does not care enough about me, or our relationship.
But looking at it logically, we really did not need to celebrate it on the day itself! Hence, I let it go. We celebrated 5 days later. And we had an almost perfect celebration!
I guess sometimes, when we are so busy making the effort, and keeping tabs on whether our partner is also making the effort (the type of effort that qualifies as effort in our eyes), we miss out on the efforts that our partner actually put in.
Do you agree? Do you think you keep a different point system from your partner?Share on Facebook