Comments on: Come What May http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/ A Modern-Day Matchmaker's Views on Dating, Matchmaking, Relationship, Love & Life Mon, 07 Jan 2013 17:14:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-371 Violet Wed, 26 Apr 2006 15:38:21 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-371 Hi Loong- Yes, definitely you cannot quantify the qualities you are looking for in a list. :) What I would suggest is that people have some basic guidelines e.g. some 'deal-breakers'. Things that are really important to them because of their core values. And apart from that, to just go with the flow... :) Because you never know until you have given it a try by getting to know the person better. :) Hi Loong-
Yes, definitely you cannot quantify the qualities you are looking for in a list. :) What I would suggest is that people have some basic guidelines e.g. some ‘deal-breakers’. Things that are really important to them because of their core values. And apart from that, to just go with the flow… :) Because you never know until you have given it a try by getting to know the person better. :)

]]> By: Loong http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-366 Loong Mon, 24 Apr 2006 13:00:24 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-366 Personally I think you just know when you know. Listing down criteria is all good but it just does not cover everything at all. The component make-up of someone you may like is made up of many qualities / traits. How do you quantify that into a criteria list? You cannot. Of course the major ones can be ruled out immediately ... like smoking, drinking etc. There is always a balance in life. Good goes with bad, Yin / Yang, dark / light etc. And it happens sub-consiously. So like the other comments, just go with the flow and don't think too much. =) Personally I think you just know when you know. Listing down criteria is all good but it just does not cover everything at all. The component make-up of someone you may like is made up of many qualities / traits. How do you quantify that into a criteria list? You cannot.

Of course the major ones can be ruled out immediately … like smoking, drinking etc. There is always a balance in life. Good goes with bad, Yin / Yang, dark / light etc. And it happens sub-consiously. So like the other comments, just go with the flow and don’t think too much. =)

]]> By: irene http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-362 irene Wed, 19 Apr 2006 02:20:39 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-362 hey buddy, enjoyed this entry very much.It's true that we often do not know what we want(incld, what to eat for dinner) and sometimes knowing only comes after we have made a decision.We have to be IN it to know. For example, i can tell my friends how crunchy and sweet the apple it , and use all my words to describe the thrill of eating that apple, but my friend will never KNOW how the apple taste like or what an apple is until he actually eat it. Keep going buddy ! We are walking this journey of life side by side. =) You are never alone hey buddy, enjoyed this entry very much.It’s true that we often do not know what we want(incld, what to eat for dinner) and sometimes knowing only comes after we have made a decision.We have to be IN it to know. For example, i can tell my friends how crunchy and sweet the apple it , and use all my words to describe the thrill of eating that apple, but my friend will never KNOW how the apple taste like or what an apple is until he actually eat it.
Keep going buddy ! We are walking this journey of life side by side. =) You are never alone

]]> By: snglguy http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-361 snglguy Wed, 19 Apr 2006 00:02:46 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-361 You're very welcome, Violet. :-) You’re very welcome, Violet. :-)

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-359 Violet Tue, 18 Apr 2006 11:48:16 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-359 Hi JC, Yup, we should keep our options open...! :) And every date is a 'surprise'! :) Love your attitude! You go girl! Hi JC,
Yup, we should keep our options open…! :) And every date is a ‘surprise’! :) Love your attitude! You go girl!

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-358 Violet Tue, 18 Apr 2006 11:42:28 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-358 Cassandra, Hiya! Nice of you to drop by! :) I went to your website too, and you have some great stuff going over there! :) I love your last sentence - The quesion is: are you willing to learn about love, about people, and about yourself? I think sometimes people just see the dating process (especially when using a dating service) as buying a product. They do not see themselves having any part to play in it... but they always put the responsibility on all the other parties. If only they can see it as a process about learning about themselves as well. :) Cassandra,

Hiya! Nice of you to drop by! :) I went to your website too, and you have some great stuff going over there! :)

I love your last sentence – The quesion is: are you willing to learn about love, about people, and about yourself? I think sometimes people just see the dating process (especially when using a dating service) as buying a product. They do not see themselves having any part to play in it… but they always put the responsibility on all the other parties. If only they can see it as a process about learning about themselves as well. :)

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-357 Violet Tue, 18 Apr 2006 11:38:55 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-357 Rudy! You are my cheerleader! :) Really appreciate it... It's so nice to hear from someone whom you have never met, but have so much faith in you... Thank you so much!!! :) Your comment really made my day! :) Rudy!
You are my cheerleader! :) Really appreciate it… It’s so nice to hear from someone whom you have never met, but have so much faith in you… Thank you so much!!! :) Your comment really made my day! :)

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-356 Violet Tue, 18 Apr 2006 11:37:29 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-356 Hi Yun! :) Thanks for your comment... I love your usage of the word "journey"! That is so true! Love and dating is indeed a journey... a journey of growing, learning and self-discovery. Hi Yun! :)
Thanks for your comment… I love your usage of the word “journey”! That is so true! Love and dating is indeed a journey… a journey of growing, learning and self-discovery.

]]> By: Jc http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-355 Jc Tue, 18 Apr 2006 08:48:09 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-355 i been met up more than 100 net frenz, can't put it as dating, i think hang out is more suitable term for that. i truly enjoy go out have a date with people, throught the activities like..dining experience, drinking, movies, chating..can observe others body language, studied oneself behavior too. that's fun part to analysis oneself quietly. Dun expect always will meet up prince charming, coz ugly or good looking we can't judge by the first impression yet. Is good to find someone has the same ground, interest to share with..some thoughts to share..or discover something new and excited one. Should treat all the dates as a surprise gift! make more friends and keep option open, we only know what we want at the end of the day, criteria may change one day base on the circumtances. Nothing is absolutely right or wrong..just enjoy the fun part and pick up the 'faulty', ensure next time dun make it happen again. i been met up more than 100 net frenz, can’t put it as dating, i think hang out is more suitable term for that.
i truly enjoy go out have a date with people, throught the activities like..dining experience, drinking, movies, chating..can observe others body language, studied oneself behavior too. that’s fun part to analysis oneself quietly. Dun expect always will meet up prince charming, coz ugly or good looking we can’t judge by the first impression yet. Is good to find someone has the same ground, interest to share with..some thoughts to share..or discover something new and excited one. Should treat all the dates as a surprise gift! make more friends and keep option open, we only know what we want at the end of the day, criteria may change one day base on the circumtances.
Nothing is absolutely right or wrong..just enjoy the fun part and pick up the ‘faulty’, ensure next time dun make it happen again.

]]> By: Cassandra Lentz http://www.violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/comment-page-1/#comment-353 Cassandra Lentz Tue, 18 Apr 2006 03:08:26 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/04/17/come-what-may/#comment-353 I love how honest your writing is. You recognize that you have your own "checklist" of sorts and yet at the same time you have remained open enough to find a mate who adds up to more than the "requirements" in a way that is different than you. For me, the key is to remain open to receiving love and happiness. There have been times in my life when I thought all I wanted was love and happiness, but deep down I wanted to stay stuck in blame and expectation. I did the work I needed to do to process through the expectations of the "perfect" partner and now I am in a fulfilling relationship with the most amazing man. And boy are we different! On the outside, that is. He is quiet and introverted. I am not-so-quiet and extroverted. But, when you look beneath the surface we have so much in common. In fact, we are the same. We both want to feel love, be acknowledged, and make a difference. We simply go about it in drastically different ways. I guess what I am saying is that dating is a learning process that requires both standards and spontaneity. The quesion is: are you willing to learn about love, about people, and about yourself? I love how honest your writing is. You recognize that you have your own “checklist” of sorts and yet at the same time you have remained open enough to find a mate who adds up to more than the “requirements” in a way that is different than you. For me, the key is to remain open to receiving love and happiness. There have been times in my life when I thought all I wanted was love and happiness, but deep down I wanted to stay stuck in blame and expectation. I did the work I needed to do to process through the expectations of the “perfect” partner and now I am in a fulfilling relationship with the most amazing man. And boy are we different! On the outside, that is. He is quiet and introverted. I am not-so-quiet and extroverted. But, when you look beneath the surface we have so much in common. In fact, we are the same. We both want to feel love, be acknowledged, and make a difference. We simply go about it in drastically different ways.

I guess what I am saying is that dating is a learning process that requires both standards and spontaneity. The quesion is: are you willing to learn about love, about people, and about yourself?

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