May your love be like the wind…

 

Continuing from where I left off… I love weddings. Not because of the beautiful white gown. Not because of the delicious 10 course dinner. And not because of the merrymaking where we make fun of the groom.

I love weddings because it is a beginning of a wondrous journey. You know how we hear the Emcees at the wedding dinner saying things such as…

    “From the point of getting to know each other, to falling in love, and to finally getting married, it is not an easy journey…”

and we usually think… “Yada yada, I know that already, don’t bore me with cliches!”

After being in this industry for the last 2 years, I have to say… that statement is so so true. It is a journey laced with obstacles and difficulties. You have a scenario where boy likes girl, but girl is not interested, or vice versa. Or a scenario where both fall in love, but break up later because they drift apart. Or another scenario where they are so in love, but because of parental objections, they have to separate. The scenarios are endless.

And hence, to complete the first part of the journey… to be getting married, it is definitely something worth celebrating.

I always say to girlfriends who are brides… “Don’t be so stressed up! Enjoy the process! Enjoy your wedding!” Because that is what it is supposed to be, an event where you celebrate your love.

Not an event where you worry whether the food taste good, or the people are seated properly, or whether your relatives are happy with your speech, or your behavior etc. And no matter how much you fuss over your makeup, your veil, your flowers, your decoration… something might just go terribly wrong. It is just not worth it to get upset.

And you know which is my favorite part of every wedding? The part where the couple exchanges their wedding vows. To me, that’s what a wedding is all about, a point in time where a couple decides that from that moment, they are going to pledge their lives to each other, to stay together for better or worse, in good times and bad times for all eternity.

Love… is not a feeling, but a conscious decision. A feeling might change over time. It might be affected by circumstances. But a decision once firmly and strongly committed will not change. And I believe that’s what make some relationships steadfast, and some relationships frail.

To my cousin Yin Yin and my cousin-in-law Vincent, my heartiest congratulations! May your love be like the wind, strong enough to move the clouds, soft enough to never hurt, but always never ever ending!

Went to a beautiful wedding recently? Or want to share with us your wedding vows? Tell us about your experiences at weddings recently. Maybe I will share with you my wedding vows in my next entry. 😉Tags: , , , , , , ,

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Related Posts with ThumbnailsShare on Facebook
Be Sociable, Share!

16 Comments

  1. ‘frail’? ‘are frail’? or ‘fail’? 🙂

    ..its just me beign sticky abtou grammar

    like the idea in that paragraph though. but i think that love’s both a feeling and a decision – both together.

    “Love… is not a feeling, but a conscious decision. A feeling might change over time. It might be affected by circumstances. But a decision once firmly and strongly committed will not change. And I believe that’s what make some relationships steadfast, and some relationships frail.”

    mayeb love = feeling and marriage = decision

    there’s this song that goes along the lines of ‘love adn marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage, you can’t have one wihtout the other’

    frank sinatra methinks.

    though i never thought that anyone would rhyme carriage with marraige!

    pardon my typing.

    [Reply]

  2. Been lurking around your blog for some time now but just had to leave a comment after reading this entry. I totally agree with your statement that “Love… is not a feeling, but a conscious decision”

    When either party decides to stop putting in effort to maintain the relationship, its a matter of time before the relationship falls apart. Such was my experience.

    [Reply]

  3. After attending so many weddings (yours included), I just wanted to share my thoughts.

    I love weddings too. Meeting someone you love and deciding to make a promise to one another (i.e. getting married), is a life changing event. I am always happy to be invited to weddings because even though I may not play a big role in the bride or groom’s lives, at least I was invited to share the celebration of their love. I consider that a privilege.

    If that’s not fate, what is?

    As a side note, you are assuming that most people get married because they love one another, which in some cases is not true. May be sad, but it’s true.

    [Reply]

  4. When people I know who are about to get married come to me and tell me how hectic and stressful their wedding preparations are, I always tell them to just take it easy because all of that is childs play compared to what they are about to face after they recite those wedding vows.

    Just thought I’d put some sense of reality into them… 🙂

    Glad you’re back Violet… 🙂

    [Reply]

  5. Hello S (so funny calling you that :p)

    Ya, I meant frail and not fail… sorry la… my England not that powderful 🙂

    I can see where you are coming from… love being a feeling and a decision. And yes – if it’s only a decision then it might lack the ‘soul’. But I think the problem is when people seeing love purely as a feeling.

    And when the feeling changes because of time and circumstances, they do not recognise that it is temporary, and as a result… they let it go too easily… you know what I mean?

    [Reply]

  6. Hi TC!

    Thanks for ‘coming out’! 🙂 You are now officially no longer a lurker! 🙂

    I agree with you – a relationship, be it before or after marriage is a conscious effort on both sides. It’s true… maintaining a marriage is lots of work. But of course, when you are having fun, it does not seem like work anymore. 😉

    [Reply]

  7. Hey Kea!

    It was my privilege to have you at my wedding! 🙂

    It’s true – some people marry not because they are in love with each other. Actually, I believe in many parts of the world, many people get into marriages of convenience or arranged marriages.

    However on the same topic, I think it is strange but some arranged marriages seem to work out even better than some love marriages. Maybe because they were put together when they know nothing about each other, and somehow, through the years, they grew to love each other. Having said that, there are many arranged marriages that end up being totally disastrous… 🙁

    [Reply]

  8. iblogme /

    Hi Violet. Thanks for writing this post. I do agree with most of what you had written. That a marriage is not pure feeling, but also both feeling and conscious decision.

    Having said that, I have never really attended a ‘sacred’ wedding before. I need to witness a church wedding. 🙂

    [Reply]

  9. Hi Iblogme,

    Thanks for your comment! 🙂 Am sure, in time you will attend a church wedding… I have 10 friends getting married this year!!! Out of which, I think only 1 is a church wedding! But some of them are having a wedding ceremony where they are exchanging wedding vows as well. 🙂

    [Reply]

  10. Hey Rudy-

    Haha… I agree, it’s always good to put back some reality into things. 🙂

    It’s true, sometimes people see the wedding as ‘the end’, as in ‘Hooray! We are now married, we can relax now.’ 🙂

    But it is only the beginning of the journey. 🙂

    [Reply]

  11. hewwo 🙂

    yes – its a bit strange signing off ‘s’…but hey 😀 glad you recognise me 🙂

    and yes – i do know what you mean – its the amount of effort you put in to each relatinship – both sides must want to try…if not..cannot.

    havign said that – i do wonder – if there is just one soul mate out there for each of us – first you have to meet then it must be the right time, then both of you have to hang on to each other..wahhh – can give up and be a hermit already.

    but then again – sometimes, it all turns out right 😀

    do you wonder if you make a soulmate or you meet a soulmate? 🙂

    [Reply]

  12. Hello S 🙂

    On the matter of soulmate…I would love to believe that there’s just one soulmate out there for you. And somehow you just have to meet up with him or her and everything would just work out. But at the same time, what if your soulmate is like living in South America, and you in Asia? Or what if he’s like 20 years younger than you? Or… Haha… I guess some people would then say… if he/she is your soulmate, then the circumstances would be just right…

    I think Jamie is my soulmate. 🙂 I think we have met in other lives… but who am I to say? We will never know I guess.

    And I do think that there’s probably more than one person out there that’s suitable for us. I mean, maybe it’s a hopeful thought, but wouldn’t it be so sad if you and your soulmate just never meet up because you are oceans apart, and… you just never meet the love of your life?

    Haha… am rambling a bit now… 🙂 I think the romantic bit of me want to believe in the concept of soulmate, but the practical side of me believe that there’s more than one person out there who is right for you. 🙂

    What about you? What do you think?

    [Reply]

  13. 🙂 i think we MAKE a soulmate 🙂

    first spark of attraction then something (effort?) just makes you go on trying together and by that you just keep falling in love with each other

    so together you make the love of your lives 🙂

    sounds fairy tale-ish though…

    but that’s the way it is isn’t it? its not always sparks and romance, and its the couples who care abtou each other who make the effort to keep on going that lasts.

    and maybe a bit of luck 🙂

    [Reply]

  14. erm..come to love..
    each individual has different opinion n perception towards what’s love? hm..nothing is absolutely wrong or right, depends on how you perceive.
    Firstly, love involves feeling..emotions…both parties should have kind of sparks n feeling towards each other..so do you believe love at first sight?
    Then…get to know each other more, adapt and adjust own life style and habit, to compromise each other..
    till the stage make the final decide wanna tie the knot to be together..then involve more aspects..coz wedding ..marriage will involve both parties family..supposingly 2 person thingy ,end up become so many people’s ‘business’. So whole process is not an easy task to go thru.. both parties need to go thru lots of sweet memories, happiness, sorrow, disaster moments as well… love will grow stronger day by day.
    Do you think age is a problem / gap when come to love?
    i dun think so tat’s a big deal. as long as both parties have mutual understanding, similar mindset eventhough from different background, but can hold the hand grow together till the day grow old together, that’s the sweetest thing in the world.
    Love needs passion, trust, compromise, care and etc to build up the strong foundation.
    i’m so happy to see when a fren get marry together, finally find his/her mr. right or ms. right.
    here, share with you some nice picture..one of my frenz’s wedding. http://asia.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/joannchoost/album
    She married with a BBC (British born chinese), they have gone thru many things together, finally get together now. Lots of sacrifice from both parties..but i’m so impressed about power of love!

    [Reply]

  15. Hi S –

    Yes… definitely… it’s the couples that put in the effort where the marriages last. Just found out that it helps that the couples talk ‘cute’ too! 🙂 Haha… and apparently one of the keys to succesful marriages is when they share a great friendship…! 🙂

    [Reply]

  16. Hey JC!

    Thanks for your comments! 🙂 Truly appreciate it… I think age gap is not a problem as long as both parties are matured enough to deal with it. I think… age is but a number.

    It is important that both parties come to term with it and not be affected when people say things like… ‘I think she’s after his money’, or something to that extend.

    Thakns for sharing! 🙂

    [Reply]

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *