Comments on: Through Thick and Thin http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/ A Modern-Day Matchmaker's Views on Dating, Matchmaking, Relationship, Love & Life Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:33:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: debt consolidation http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-335 debt consolidation Tue, 11 Apr 2006 04:50:00 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-335 So, this is certainly a great blog you are having here. Thanks for the info. I became debt free as well. Thanks to debtconsolidation.com Seriously amazing service.What do you think of my new blog? So, this is certainly a great blog you are having here. Thanks for the info. I became debt free as well. Thanks to debtconsolidation.com Seriously amazing service.What do you think of my new blog?

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-299 Violet Tue, 21 Mar 2006 05:31:41 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-299 Hi Princesse- I agree with you. The wife too could have strayed, but she didn't. The wife could have gone with him, but she didn't. The husband could have stayed put, but he didn't. There are so many 'could have been' in this story. But at the end of the day, I think we just have to decide for ourselves how important the marriage is to us. If it is of the first priority, the wife would have gone with the husband. Or the husband would have stayed put. Why play with fire? A marriage is a joint decision and a joint effort. As you said, it takes two to tango. They could have chosen to be committed to their marriage, but they both didn't. Well, I guess as in most of these scenarios, the ones who suffer are the poor children. Hi Princesse-
I agree with you. The wife too could have strayed, but she didn’t. The wife could have gone with him, but she didn’t. The husband could have stayed put, but he didn’t. There are so many ‘could have been’ in this story.
But at the end of the day, I think we just have to decide for ourselves how important the marriage is to us. If it is of the first priority, the wife would have gone with the husband. Or the husband would have stayed put.
Why play with fire? A marriage is a joint decision and a joint effort. As you said, it takes two to tango. They could have chosen to be committed to their marriage, but they both didn’t. Well, I guess as in most of these scenarios, the ones who suffer are the poor children.

]]> By: princesse http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-294 princesse Fri, 17 Mar 2006 16:29:56 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-294 The mother is blaming the daughter for being stubborn actually but some women just do not want their life to be determined by their husbands' career. Anyway, it is not only the husband who would feel lonely, the wife would too but she did not go off with some other guy. It takes two to tango and if one could not hold on to temptations, how committed can one be. The mother is blaming the daughter for being stubborn actually but some women just do not want their life to be determined by their husbands’ career. Anyway, it is not only the husband who would feel lonely, the wife would too but she did not go off with some other guy. It takes two to tango and if one could not hold on to temptations, how committed can one be.

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-279 Violet Wed, 15 Mar 2006 00:22:14 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-279 Loong- it's true what you say about commitment. Because when you commit, it does not matter if nobody ever found out that you have cheated, because YOU would know. And hence you would not do it, as you cannot face YOURSELF in the mirror. But as Rudy has said... sometimes... for men, the temptation is just too great... especially for men who were treated like normal people in their own country and all of a sudden they are treated like celebrities...! At the end of the day... personally I think it is up to the individual to make their own decisions. Whatever decisions we make, we just have to make sure that to us, that's the most logical and rational decision, and we will not regret it. Loong- it’s true what you say about commitment. Because when you commit, it does not matter if nobody ever found out that you have cheated, because YOU would know. And hence you would not do it, as you cannot face YOURSELF in the mirror.

But as Rudy has said… sometimes… for men, the temptation is just too great… especially for men who were treated like normal people in their own country and all of a sudden they are treated like celebrities…!

At the end of the day… personally I think it is up to the individual to make their own decisions. Whatever decisions we make, we just have to make sure that to us, that’s the most logical and rational decision, and we will not regret it.

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-278 Violet Wed, 15 Mar 2006 00:21:58 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-278 Hi Angel- I know what you mean. Some couples who live together for decades, and all of a sudden the husband decides to wander, citing 'mid life crisis'... S- Hey! Good to see you commenting! :) Haha! I like your usage of responsibility vs. blame here. I believe that both parties have responsibility to make the relationship work too. So as you say, the husband could have stayed too. And the wife could have gone with him. Like what JC has said... "the wife too has responsibility to develop and maintain the marriage as well". Well said JC! :) Hi Angel-
I know what you mean. Some couples who live together for decades, and all of a sudden the husband decides to wander, citing ‘mid life crisis’…

S-
Hey! Good to see you commenting! :) Haha! I like your usage of responsibility vs. blame here. I believe that both parties have responsibility to make the relationship work too. So as you say, the husband could have stayed too. And the wife could have gone with him.

Like what JC has said… “the wife too has responsibility to develop and maintain the marriage as well”. Well said JC! :)

]]> By: snglguy http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-277 snglguy Mon, 13 Mar 2006 08:43:25 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-277 Here's the harsh reality: A huge percentage of LDR's fail simply because the temptation is too great, especially for men. I've seen and met a lot of married expats here living and enjoying a hedonistic lifestyle which I assume, they weren't able to do back home where they live a rather sedate life. Just my observation... :-) BTW, welcome back :-) Here’s the harsh reality: A huge percentage of LDR’s fail simply because the temptation is too great, especially for men.

I’ve seen and met a lot of married expats here living and enjoying a hedonistic lifestyle which I assume, they weren’t able to do back home where they live a rather sedate life.

Just my observation… :-)

BTW, welcome back :-)

]]> By: Loong http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-276 Loong Mon, 13 Mar 2006 04:42:02 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-276 IMHO whether the wife goes with him or not is not the issue at hand. The issue is whether or not there is commitment to "stay" together while being apart. If a little temptation like a "housekeeper" or "postman" is going make the person stray, then what is the point of being together in the first place. The commitment is not 100% there - better to go separate ways than to risk being hurt further down the track. IMHO whether the wife goes with him or not is not the issue at hand. The issue is whether or not there is commitment to “stay” together while being apart. If a little temptation like a “housekeeper” or “postman” is going make the person stray, then what is the point of being together in the first place. The commitment is not 100% there – better to go separate ways than to risk being hurt further down the track.

]]> By: Jc http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-275 Jc Mon, 13 Mar 2006 02:19:38 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-275 well, i've been thru a yr of LDR with my late bf while he was in USA till he back here, we been together for 4 yrs, i can tell that LDR need lots of trust, compromise and mutual understanding. Really need to put lots of afford to maintain the relationship. In a relationship, dun have absolutely who's right or wrong. basically, one hand can't clap tho.. If the man has the commitment and he promised to love her and hold her hand grow old together thru thick and thin, then he shouldn't do anything betray her or hurts her as well. But again, the wife has the responsibility to develop and maintain the marriage as well. No spice, no spark, the relationship is going to over very soon. It all depends on individual.. If you love one, you should b faithful and gain ur lover's trust. If something bad happened, dun blame each other, look at urself first, what's going on? should we take action to solve the problem instead let it spread all over? man should live in peace and content what we are having in our life. :) well, i’ve been thru a yr of LDR with my late bf while he was in USA till he back here, we been together for 4 yrs, i can tell that LDR need lots of trust, compromise and mutual understanding. Really need to put lots of afford to maintain the relationship.

In a relationship, dun have absolutely who’s right or wrong. basically, one hand can’t clap tho..

If the man has the commitment and he promised to love her and hold her hand grow old together thru thick and thin, then he shouldn’t do anything betray her or hurts her as well. But again, the wife has the responsibility to develop and maintain the marriage as well. No spice, no spark, the relationship is going to over very soon. It all depends on individual..
If you love one, you should b faithful and gain ur lover’s trust.

If something bad happened, dun blame each other, look at urself first, what’s going on? should we take action to solve the problem instead let it spread all over?

man should live in peace and content what we are having in our life. :)

]]> By: s http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-274 s Mon, 13 Mar 2006 00:19:12 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-274 hmm - i just realised - shouldn't have said 'fault' sounds like i am blaming both sides - but i didn't mean that - more like saying both sides share the responsibility as a relationship is a responsibility to all parties in it. hmm – i just realised – shouldn’t have said ‘fault’

sounds like i am blaming both sides – but i didn’t mean that – more like saying both sides share the responsibility as a relationship is a responsibility to all parties in it.

]]> By: s http://www.violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/comment-page-1/#comment-273 s Mon, 13 Mar 2006 00:16:22 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/03/13/through-thick-and-thin/#comment-273 Promises do mean something, but it takes two to put in the effort to grow together. Everyone needs support. You can't expect someone to promise their life to you and then go off seperately and think that he/she would not need help in keeping this life long promise. unrealistic. but remember - it does take two - so he could have stayed. whose fault is it? methinks - both sides for not giving in. Promises do mean something, but it takes two to put in the effort to grow together. Everyone needs support.

You can’t expect someone to promise their life to you and then go off seperately and think that he/she would not need help in keeping this life long promise.

unrealistic.

but remember – it does take two – so he could have stayed.

whose fault is it?

methinks – both sides for not giving in.

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