Comments on: A Matter of Trust http://www.violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/ A Modern-Day Matchmaker's Views on Dating, Matchmaking, Relationship, Love & Life Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:33:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/comment-page-1/#comment-210 Violet Mon, 27 Feb 2006 08:10:00 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/#comment-210 Rudy, get what you mean... but try not to be so cynical ok? :) Rudy, get what you mean… but try not to be so cynical ok? :)

]]> By: Screwed-Up AKA SnglGuy http://www.violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/comment-page-1/#comment-209 Screwed-Up AKA SnglGuy Sat, 25 Feb 2006 21:29:00 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/#comment-209 Oh don't get me wrong violet, I trust people easily in fact. It's just that sometimes they fail us and that is what irritates me. Oh well, I've reached that age when I can be very cynical about things so I just let it be... LOL! :-D You're right about people who do not trust others easily, it is a defense mechanism used primarily to avoid getting hurt. Oh don’t get me wrong violet, I trust people easily in fact. It’s just that sometimes they fail us and that is what irritates me. Oh well, I’ve reached that age when I can be very cynical about things so I just let it be… LOL! :-D

You’re right about people who do not trust others easily, it is a defense mechanism used primarily to avoid getting hurt.

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/comment-page-1/#comment-208 Violet Sat, 25 Feb 2006 02:00:00 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/#comment-208 Rudy!!! Don't lose hope! I think I will have to disagree with you there... I feel that it's easier to trust than to mistrust. By trusting we are empowering ourselves, and as a result freeing ourselves. By mistrusting, we are actually putting more burden on ourselves, clouding our thoughts, and poisoning our hearts. Perhaps sometimes by mistrusting, we are protecting ourselves. By thinking that this person would eventually 'betray' us, we can tell ourselves, "See, I told you so!" It's like a defence mechanism. And sometimes, it might even backfire! If the other party feels that either way you are not going to trust me, then why should I make an effort to make you trust me? I might as well just live up to your 'expectations'! Personally, I feel that if we cannot have the capacity to trust... we are not giving ourselves or the other person a fair chance. And we will always wonder 'what if'. Rudy!!!

Don’t lose hope!

I think I will have to disagree with you there… I feel that it’s easier to trust than to mistrust. By trusting we are empowering ourselves, and as a result freeing ourselves.

By mistrusting, we are actually putting more burden on ourselves, clouding our thoughts, and poisoning our hearts.

Perhaps sometimes by mistrusting, we are protecting ourselves. By thinking that this person would eventually ‘betray’ us, we can tell ourselves, “See, I told you so!” It’s like a defence mechanism.

And sometimes, it might even backfire! If the other party feels that either way you are not going to trust me, then why should I make an effort to make you trust me? I might as well just live up to your ‘expectations’!

Personally, I feel that if we cannot have the capacity to trust… we are not giving ourselves or the other person a fair chance. And we will always wonder ‘what if’.

]]> By: Violet http://www.violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/comment-page-1/#comment-207 Violet Sat, 25 Feb 2006 01:55:00 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/#comment-207 iblogme - I agree with your point... trust has to be given before it can be gained. It boils down to the fact that we cannot control someone else's lives or choices, and we can only control our own. So we can choose to trust, but cannot force someone else to trust us. For the situation when our happiness hinges on someone else's, we can take ownership by contributing to the person's happiness, or to limit the association to areas where we can actually make a difference to. :) iblogme – I agree with your point… trust has to be given before it can be gained. It boils down to the fact that we cannot control someone else’s lives or choices, and we can only control our own. So we can choose to trust, but cannot force someone else to trust us.

For the situation when our happiness hinges on someone else’s, we can take ownership by contributing to the person’s happiness, or to limit the association to areas where we can actually make a difference to. :)

]]> By: Screwed-Up AKA SnglGuy http://www.violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/comment-page-1/#comment-206 Screwed-Up AKA SnglGuy Fri, 24 Feb 2006 05:38:00 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/#comment-206 Trust is the hardest thing you can give to a relationship. Sadly, it is easier to 'mistrust' than to trust a person. It seems that the word has become a precious commodity these days... Trust is the hardest thing you can give to a relationship. Sadly, it is easier to ‘mistrust’ than to trust a person.

It seems that the word has become a precious commodity these days…

]]> By: iblogme http://www.violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/comment-page-1/#comment-205 iblogme Fri, 24 Feb 2006 04:09:00 +0000 http://violetlim.com/2006/02/23/a-matter-of-trust-2/#comment-205 Yes, trust takes a long time to gain and give. Often, it takes trust to be given before it can be gained. Ditto to being the owners of our own happiness. Not easy, though, especially when your happiness hingest on the happiness of another person as well. :) Yes, trust takes a long time to gain and give. Often, it takes trust to be given before it can be gained.

Ditto to being the owners of our own happiness. Not easy, though, especially when your happiness hingest on the happiness of another person as well. :)

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