Golden Rule of Dating — A girl should NEVER initiate the first date?

Met up with a girlfriend on Sunday and had a fantastic catch up session. At some point or other during our conversation, she asked me, “Hey, so by the way, how did Jamie ask you out on your first date?”

And, I said, “Well, actually, I created the opportunity for him to ask me.”

Tip or Myth #4: Golden Rule of Dating — A girl should never initiate the date. The guy must always make the first move.

Call me strange/weird/unconventional, but I truly believe that a lady should feel comfortable initiating the first date if she wants to.

Of course, I have heard of stories where guys are totally put off by women who make the first move. Be it they are intimidated, or they feel that guys should always do the chasing. Or some even feel that if they get you too easily, they do not appreciate you.

Well, there are certain truths to it of course. Men are born hunters. They would like to pursue and please the lady. Sometimes, we ladies having been so used to ‘fighting’ for what we want in our career, we forget that the men really would like to take the lead. And that is when they call us ‘aggressive’.

Well, back to my story… what I did was, a day after our third encounter, we were actually chatting through ICQ and it was coming to lunch time. What I did was…

I casually asked if he had lunch.

And hence, it gave him the opportunity to ask me out for a lunch date! He did not miss a beat.

“No. Would you like to have lunch together?”

Our first date!

So ladies, the trick here is… provide opportunities. Talk about a movie review you have read, or talk about a concert that is in town. By doing this, you strike a balance of not seeming too ‘forward’ yet giving him just enough hint to indicate your interest.

And guys, for goodness sake, if you are interested in the lady, pick up your courage and ask her out for a date! 🙂

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9 Comments

  1. Whew! This post made me recall those days when I had a hard time asking for a date. Come to think of it, I still do… Hahaha 😀

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  2. Yeah man…never chase after a bloke…unless he is ALL of the following:
    1) devastatingly handsome
    2) damn mega rich
    3) body that makes u salivate
    4) gorgeous hunky face
    5) personality of the perfect gentleman
    6) comes equipped with his own sports car

    OTHERWISE forget it…why risk your heart being stomped on and not appreciated!

    Cheers x happy vday!

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  3. snglguy – Haha! 🙂 Perhaps you get too worried about the ‘what ifs’ and the consequences. What if she turned me down? What if she hates me?

    I would say, go with the flow. What’s the worst thing that can happen? She turns you down. What is the best thing that can happen? She says yes. When you put it into perspective… it gets easier. 🙂 Well, it works for me!

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  4. totally agreed!

    The gal should sorta gave a hint or bait the guy to initiate the date. But this is rather tricky so gals…don’t be discouraged if the guys don’t get the hint. ^^

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  5. *hint, hint, hint* I probably missed a lot of those in the past…. 🙁

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  6. Anonymous /

    yan, what happened to the layout of your page? posted a few photos of your on my page, heehee… 🙂 hey call me when u have time, need to bincang something

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  7. really????
    i always thought the girls should ALWAYS make the first move. i’ve been sitting on my behind waiting for the calls that never came. now i know why. 😛
    you know a guy can pick up a lot from your site. ty if you’re reading this, heh heh thanks for the referral.

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  8. sapphire – haha! you sure run a long list! :p

    fabulana – great to see you hear again! :)yeah… I agree, it can be tricky sometimes, especially if the guys is BLUR… hehe! 🙂

    snglguy – well, it’s never too late. keep your eyes and ears open now! 🙂

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  9. Jeremy – hv checked out your page. 🙂 so sweet la u…! ok, will give you a call by this week!

    Vagus – thanks for your compliments, check back for more! 🙂 And if you have any particular topic you would like to find out more, drop me an email, and I will address it here. 🙂

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