Love at first sight?

This week has been a really hectic week, my colleague was joking that I could make a camp outside Mediacorp. Well, I am not complaining. J

Yesterday, was in the Mediacorp Capital 958FM studio with JiaBiao and his other two studio guests. It was one of the most enjoyable talk shows I have ever been on. I think JiaBiao being the sweet and animated DJ he is really helped! And the other two studio guests ShaoMei & PeiShuang were candid and entertaining too. We were having so much fun on air, and bantering and laughing on air is definitely an amazing feeling! Wow! Totally refreshing!I was initially feeling really tired, even dozed off in the cab, on my way from Raffles Place to Caldecott Hill, but that 30 mins session was a real energy booster!

And what did we talk about? With the looming V-Day… the topic cannot run away from but, ‘Singles, and their expectations.’

ShaoMei mentioned that she would prefer not to take part in dating events and enroll in dating services as she feels that they are simply too pre-fabricated. She would much prefer for things to just take place in its natural course, in other words… serendipity. She and about 8.4% of the close to 300 singles we surveyed feel the same way. J

Tip or Myth #3: If I feel no chemistry on the first date, I should not bother going on a second date.

Love at first sight, serendipity, meeting by chance. I thinkHollywood movies play a big part in shaping our beliefs, our thoughts and even our dreams.

Would it disappoint you if I were to tell you that all but one of the couples that we matched up and are dating exclusively did not feel ‘that chemistry’? The one couple that did… during their feedback session with us told us that it was simply amazing! They both rated the date a 10 out of 10. And they very quickly put their membership on hold. But what about the other couples? They gave the match a 7 or an 8, and sometimes a 6, but the only differences is, since there was nothing that they dislike too much about their date, they decided to go on a second date, and things blossom from there.

When Jamie and I first met, there were no sizzling electricity, even worse; he cannot even remember our first encounter! I could remember vaguely when we were introduced, but not too strong of an impression. The second time we met, we left a good impression on each other and that’s it! It was the third time we met again where things actually started rolling, and even then, there were no flying sparks. The sparks came when we got to know each other better.

Well, I am not trying to say that we should totally dismiss the notion of love at first sight, or chemistry, or instant sparks. Of course, if it does happen on your first date, that’s great! Embrace it with an open arm! But more importantly, we also have to differentiate between love at first sight and lust at first sight. ;)

Chemistry or not, keep an open mind. Also, make good use of each and every encounter. He or she might not be your ideal partner at first sight, but it could be a case of an unpolished gem, the more you polish it, the more it will shine. Or even maybe, take this opportunity to make more friends, as he/she might not be the right one for you, but you can tap on his/her social circle to meet Mr. or Ms. Right!

The bottom line is dating should be an enjoyable activity. Enjoy and embrace the experience! Do not be too fixated on the idea of ‘chemistry’, rather you could see it like peeling an onion… as you uncover each layer, you might be surprised by the goodness that you find inside.

Up next: So, who should pick up the tabs?

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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2 Comments

  1. LOL! You’re right… Hollywood and those darn romance paperbacks are to be blamed for the near impossible expectations of a perfect partner. :D

    [Reply]

  2. it’s quite true. butterflies at first sight didn’t bring me to the end…

    [Reply]

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