It’s all about perspectives, isn’t it?

You know something? I am beginning to appreciate you, my dearest readers a lot more! Not to say, I have not been appreciating you in the past, but you know what I mean. 🙂

I used to lament to Jamie, “I am getting a steady flow of regular readers, but… they are just so quiet, I am not sure if they are even there if not for the web stats tracker!”

But after visiting some other websites, websites of fairly well-known personalities locally or internationally, I realized that,

“Hey! My blog is not so bad after all!”  🙂

I do get occasional comments when things that I write are interesting enough! 🙂 Some blogs do not have a single comment. I mean, it’s all about perspective, isn’t it? If I am comparing my blog to Xiaxue a.k.a Wendy Cheng or Kenny Sia, well then, there’s really not much to compare, is it?

But if I compare my blog to maybe blogs of similar genre, or people who started their blog at around the same time I started mine, I uh hmm, I do have a number of regular readers, albeit a small, but growing crowd. Yes, I do believe in being optimistic. Hence the word crowd. 🙂

Perspectives, the same can be say about relationships.

In my line of work, there is a small percentage of people (if I really have to put down a figure, I would say less than 15%) whom I meet who are stuck in the way they see things, and they refuse to see it in any other way.

Lady X asked me, “Hey Violet, why are you introducing me to guys who are not ready for serious relationships?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I thought the date with him went pretty well. But, towards the end of the conversation, he told me that he’s only looking to widen his social circles and not ready for any serious relationship. So my question is – why are you introducing me to such men?”

Guy Y said, “You know, the girls you have been introducing to me do not meet my requirements at all. You know what, if you cannot find me girls that are of the calibre that I am looking for, do not bother.”

In both situations, there are many ways to see it. Obviously, the most apparent of all reasons is that –

The matchmaker is unprofessional, the matchmaker over promises and under delivers and the matchmaker should be fired.

In the case of Lady X, could she have seen it as…

“If my date really likes me, wouldn’t he make an exception for me even if he is not looking to be in a serious relationship?”

or

“If my date is really not looking for a serious relationship, so why did he approach Violet in the first place?”

or

“Is my date really not interested in a serious relationship, or is he not interested in me?”

or

“What are the things I can do to change the mind of my date, since I really like him.”

As for Guy Y, could he have thought that…

“Why do the dates do not meet my expectations? Are my expectations too unrealistic, and should I readjust them?”

or

“Should I check with them why the people whom they introduce to me do not meet my expectations? I am sure there are some valid reasons.”

or

“Could it be that the ladies whom I am looking for are ladies who are not looking for my type of profile? And that’s the reason; I have not been matched with them? What can I do to meet their requirements?”

Still on the same topic of perspective, I could react to the above by thinking,

“These people are just unrealistic and unreasonable. They do not deserve my help.” I can then withdraw further and further into my shell, and at the end of the day decide to leave, as I can no longer take the abuse.

OR

I could take it as, “Why are these people reacting this way? What if they are really right? Could it be that I am in the wrong? If yes, how can I make things better? Could I retrain my consultants?”

OR

I could decide, “Well yes, seems like they are not behaving in a rational manner. What could be the cause of it? How can I help them solve the problem? What skills can I equip myself with to make me better at my profession? What skills can I equip them with to help them succeed in their dates and in their lives?”

At the end of the day, it’s all about perspectives, isn’t it?

What is your perspective?

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2 Comments

  1. Anonymous /

    On my goodness.. this scenerio sounds so familar. It happened to me before (a few times already in fact) during the ‘intro’ dinner. At first I felt the same thing with Lady X, and probably the guys whom I meet feel the same with Guy Y too. But isn’t the search for that special person worth this bit of frustration? And besides, this is going to be for a lifetime!

    Imagine that special person is a red bean inside a huge bag full of green beans. How can we go hunt for him/her? The search can be tough and discouraging sometimes. But still, it’s worth it!

    your slient reader, Alicia
    Happy Chinese New Year!

    [Reply]

  2. Hey Alicia!

    Thanks for breaking the silence! 🙂 I agree with you. The search is sometimes long, tough and discouraging.

    To answer your question, I always encourage members to meet up again for a second date if there is nothing about your date that you actually dislike. Because sometimes knowing someone is like peeling of onions. You have to peel of the skin layer by layer to really know a person. 🙂

    Happy New Year!

    Sincerely,
    Violet

    [Reply]

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