Sticky Situation! How to get out without hurting her feelings?

My female boss commented that she really liked a skirt that I was wearing but laments that she doesn’t have the figure to carry it off. What should I say? I can’t possibly agree with her that she’s fat lest she takes offence.

“This is a delicate matter and the way I would deal with it depends on my relationship with my female boss and her personality – how forthright she is.If she is very sensitive and/or we have a courteous and civil supervisor-subordinate relationship, I would certainly take the safe route by thanking her for her compliments and disagreeing with her on her figure. I will suggest that she might want to visit the shop as they offer countless variations in designs and colours. (Change the topic)

Or alternatively, you could up the ante and confide in her, “Thanks but to tell you the truth, I have been starving myself for days to get into this skirt. Seriously, I am not sure if it’s worth the effort.” (Obtain sympathy)However, if I enjoy a close friendship with my female boss and/or if she is the “no-nonsense and forthright” type, she probably would appreciate my candidness and tact. Flattery might actually rub her off the wrong way if one tries too hard to deny the obvious. (Tell the truth)

I think there is no hard and fast rule to this tricky situation. It is always good to “be yourself”. We generally appreciate people who are sincere and genuine.”

Came across any other such sticky situations and need some advice? Email me your questions and I will try my best to help you out! 🙂

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4 Comments

  1. “Or alternatively, you could up the ante and confide in her, “Thanks but to tell you the truth, I have been starving myself for days to get into this skirt. Seriously, I am not sure if it’s worth the effort.” (Obtain sympathy)”
    I don’t believe that this would be a good tactic. It is very hard to feel sorry for someone thinner than you! I reckon better would be just to say don’t be daft or “stop putting yourself down”

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  2. Hi Dill,

    Thanks for dropping by, and giving me some feedback… 🙂 I have to agree with you that it will be hard to feel sorry for someone who’s thinner.

    Well, by telling the person that you actually went through a lot of effort to look the way you currently do, they might agree with you that it might not be worth the effort, or they too might be motivated to lose some weight! 🙂

    Anyway, do drop by more, and offer me your opinion! Have a great week!

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  3. No I still think it is a bad idea. They might think that you are suggesting that they are lazy and do not put a lot of effort into their appearance.

    As a medium sized person I’ve been on both sides of this!

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  4. Well, then perhaps if you are in the same situation again, you could use the other 2 methods instead… 🙂 There’s no real hard and fast rules to this, some methods would work well for some, but might totally backfire for others. Think it’s best to employ a method which you are most comfortable with using, as you will come across as being most sincere. 🙂

    [Reply]

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