Going on your First Date – The 7 Deadly Sins

Disclaimer:

Everything you read on this post is based on personal observations and accumulation of personal experiences. Any similarities to any persons living or dead is purely a coincidence.

Appear in your gym/yoga/soccer attire. Whatever happened to personal grooming and dressing to kill? The first impression of a person is formed within… some say 5 seconds, some say 30 seconds, some say 5 minutes – but to sum it up – in a very SHORT time. Appropriate attire would definitely help you score some points.

Order your food before your date arrives or better still, start eating before your date arrives. Yes, I understand you might be hungry after a long day, but try to grab a quick bite prior to your date at the nearest sandwich bar if you know it’s going to be a late lunch or dinner.

Challenge your date’s religion beliefs. Till today, I still cannot figure out why people go on dates to pick a fight. Enough said.

Complain about your past dates/boss/mother/ex-spouse(s). Nobody likes to sit opposite someone who’s negative and constantly complaining. Like job interviews, always put your best foot forward on your first date. You might not be Mr./ Miss Sunshine, but at least present your most positive self on your first date.

Interrogate your date. What does your father do? Can you do housework? When do you forsee yourself settling down? Why did you quit your last job? Why are you still single? The key to a successful communicator is the ability to make the other person feel comfortable. Facing “a machine gun that keeps firing away” leaves the person with no space to breathe.

Walk out on the date / Leave when your date is in the midst of paying for the meal. Even if you totally hated your date’s guts, at least have the courtesy to leave the restaurant at the same time as him/her. Do not rush off as if he/she has some sort of disease.

Whip out your handphone/PDA to split the bill into half… down to the last cent. You might not fancy the lady that much, or you are really broke this month. You do not need to pay for her share, but seriously there’s no excuse for such ‘cheapskate’ and ‘ungentlemanly’ behaviour.

Category: dating101

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Sticky Situation! How to get out without hurting her feelings?

My female boss commented that she really liked a skirt that I was wearing but laments that she doesn’t have the figure to carry it off. What should I say? I can’t possibly agree with her that she’s fat lest she takes offence.

“This is a delicate matter and the way I would deal with it depends on my relationship with my female boss and her personality – how forthright she is.If she is very sensitive and/or we have a courteous and civil supervisor-subordinate relationship, I would certainly take the safe route by thanking her for her compliments and disagreeing with her on her figure. I will suggest that she might want to visit the shop as they offer countless variations in designs and colours. (Change the topic)

Or alternatively, you could up the ante and confide in her, “Thanks but to tell you the truth, I have been starving myself for days to get into this skirt. Seriously, I am not sure if it’s worth the effort.” (Obtain sympathy)However, if I enjoy a close friendship with my female boss and/or if she is the “no-nonsense and forthright” type, she probably would appreciate my candidness and tact. Flattery might actually rub her off the wrong way if one tries too hard to deny the obvious. (Tell the truth)

I think there is no hard and fast rule to this tricky situation. It is always good to “be yourself”. We generally appreciate people who are sincere and genuine.”

Came across any other such sticky situations and need some advice? Email me your questions and I will try my best to help you out! 🙂

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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How to Choose a Dating Service/Agency?

I often get asked so what makes your agency different from your competitors? Most marketing gurus would say you have to prepare your elevator pitch i.e. your 60 minutes sales pitch where you highlight your USP (unique selling prepositions). And the funny thing is many companies tell you that, "We differentiate ourselves by our excellent customer service!" Unfortunately, unless you are in the hotel business, “it is your product that makes the difference i.e. the service provided is great, but you do not seem to be getting closer to your objective, you are not going to be happy. So today I would like to share with you, from an agency's point of view what you should be looking out for while choosing a dating service.

Research

Prior to anything, you should do your research. Yes, research is the key to success here. Flip your local newspapers to find out what are the various companies available in your city. Ask your friends and colleagues if they have heard of any credible ones. And the Internet is your best source of referral. I personally like using Google. Just google the word "dating service" or "dating agency" and I am sure you will have a long list. After you have your list, tabulate them on an excel sheet, or in a word document if you like. For each agency, you will be rating them on a few things(1) their reputation,(2) how they sound over the phone,(3) how much the service costs, and(4) how you feel during the consultation with them.Before even making the first phone call, you really should check out their reputation. How to accomplish that? Easy! Yes, the Internet is a great source. You could search key words such as the company's name, the founder's name(s), or even check out whether they have any complaints posted online e.g. checking with consumers' bureau. Check out forums, or casually ask your friends whether they have heard of that particular agency and see what they have to say. If you have friends who have joined a dating service, ask for their opinions on the frequency and quality of the dates. Do not base your choice on only one person's recommendation, ask around to get a few opinions.

Making your First Enquiry

Ok, now you have a gauge of the reputation and credibility of the companies you are interested in, it'time to contact them. You could usually contact them through phone or through their online enquiry form. Personally, I prefer to do the latter. The reason being I would like to see how professional (or not) they are.

  1. A professional company should get back to you within 2 working days.
  2. A professional company which prides itself in customer service would firstly verify that you are the enquirer before telling you where he/she is calling from.
  3. A professional dating consultant would also ask you within the first 5 seconds whether it is a convenient time for you to talk.
  4. Is the consultant organized when it comes to presenting you information about the company? The professionalism of the consultants would also reflect how systematic the company would be when it comes to providing dating services.
  5. Does the consultant sound pushy? When you said that you would require some time to think about it, does he/she insist that you drop by? The line here is quite thin. You do not want to join a dating service who does not seem concerned about sales at all, as at the end of the day, you are looking for a company that has a huge database, and looking to increase that database everyday. Yet at the same time, you do not want to join a company whose only purpose is to sell and full stop.

Scheduling an appointment

At some point during the call, the consultant would want to schedule with you an appointment. A professional company would inform you that the appointment is no-obligations, no strings attached, and you do not need to pay for the initial consultation. A well-organized company should have a system that sends you an email to confirm the details of the appointment, as well as a reminder phone call prior to the appointment. If you are planning to check out more than one agency, make sure that your appointments are not scheduled back-to-back, so that you have time after each appointment to jot down some thoughts of what you feel about each agency. However, do not space your appointments too far apart as well, because remember, your objective is to find a dating agency; you do not want to lose all enthusiasm due to the dragged-out process.

The Consultation

So what do you do while waiting for your appointments, think of the questions you would like to ask. These are some of the standard questions that you should prepare to ask during a consultation:

  1. How do you match?
  2. What is your success rate?
  3. How long have you been established, and how many members do you have?
  4. How many consultants do you have?
  5. If you have x number of members, and you only have xxx consultants, how do you ensure that I get xx date every month?
  6. How much does it cost to be a member?
  7. Do you have a refund policy?
  8. Do you have any overseas offices, and is your membership transferable between cities?

During the consultation, take note of the location of the dating agency. The location reflects how the company would wish to position itself, as well as the type of people the company is trying to attract.How were you greeted at the door? How were the consultants dressed? How was the office done up? Were you offered a drink? All these should sum up your first impression of the company.Was the consultant more concerned about what you are looking for or more concerned about what they were trying to sell you? How were the questionnaires/forms organized? If all they ask you to fill up is a 2 pages form, how confident you are they would be able to make a good match with such little information? Apart from the questionnaire, did they ask you any other questions? Were the questions well thought out to find out more about you? How comfortable do you feel with the consultant?

What to Expect

Most dating agencies provide the following services through your membership: (1) No-obligations Consultation (2) Matching (3) Coordination of dates availability (4) Booking of restaurant (5) Feedback However the level of service differs. Some agencies only communicate through the phone; some agencies have gone the extra mile of using emails and SMS (Short Message Service) for easier and faster communication. Some agencies take the initiative to contact you for your feedback after each date; some agencies leave it to your initiation. Some agencies call/SMS you to remind you of your date a day before; some don't. Some agencies are opened on Saturdays for better date coordinations; others don't. Some agencies have a date review after a certain number of dates to give you a better idea of how you can improve on your dating skills; others don't. Some agencies have a refund policy; others don't. Hence, it is very important for you to read through your Terms of Service agreement before signing up with your chosen agency.

 

The No-no

Ok, let's talk about the no-no's. A reputable and professional company would not pluck names out of the sky and say "Oh, with your preferences, I just know the girl for you. Lily is just perfect for you. She's attractive and intelligent. Oh, and there's Amelia. I think she would make a great choice for you too. She is slim and petite and she's really chatty and a whale of fun to be with." Well firstly, the company really should not be telling you about the profiles of their clients when you have not signed up with them. Also, isn't that over-promising? What if by the time you sign up with them, both Lily and Amelia have already put their membership on hold? And offering you to look at the profiles of the members they have, would you like to be featured in a catalogue, and be chosen like cattle? And yes, photographs. Would you want your photograph be shown to someone has not even signed up with an agency, someone who might not even sign up? And now this someone knows that you have signed up with an agency? Not a very pleasant thought is it? Watch out for agencies that over-promise. One of the good starting point to look out for are the advertisements and marketing campaigns run by the company.Yes, we all love to hear nice things i.e. I am sure you will find your special someone in no time if you sign up with us. Or I can promise you a date every month. In this business, there' s no guarantee. And the best is if you could choose an agency that's reasonable and is willing to work together with you as a partner to achieve your objectives. A professionalcompany would also respect that you would need time to think about it. I know of companies who actually direct their clients to the nearest ATM station so that they could make sure the client pay on that day itself, so that you would not have time to change your mind.

The Cost

What about the cost? As consumers, we sometimes have the perception that the more expensive a product or service is, the better it must be. Well, I would say, in the case of a dating service that might not be true at all. Think about it this way, if you are a lady looking to sign up with a dating service, you might be attracted to the most expensive agency because your perception would be… the men who join (since they are willing to pay such a huge amount) must be of good caliber! My experience tells me that menare more price sensitive than women when it comes to services especially dating services. With this knowledge, how convinced are you now that these expensive dating services actually do have the number of men that they boast they have.Hence, it's best if you do not choose solely based on price of the packages. If an agency can provide you the same level of service, if not a more extensive range of services at a lower cost, wouldn't that be better? Also, a dating service of integrity would charge a price range that's justifiable and not overcharge in the name of "prestige".

Conclusion

By now, you should have a pretty clear idea of which is the dating service for you. There's no right or wrong. Your friend might have joined Agency A, but after your personal evaluation, you might prefer Agency B. However, do keep in mind, at the end of the day – after doing your research, meeting up with various dating consultants, making your comparisons, finding the right partner still has a lot to do with the individual… you. You can have the best consultants, the most beautiful office, or the most quality database, “are you ready to be in a relationship? From the way I see it, only 30% of your success should be attributed to the agency, but the other 70% is really up to the 'dater'.

All the best and happy dating! 🙂

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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What Love are you Fated for?

Content love
You will have a Content love. Not
boring, but without fights and problems. You
will just… be in love. Simple as that. As a
person, you’re not the one who laughs highest
or most often, nor the one in the dark corner
crying. You are the one who sits watching
everyone else, often with a little smile
playing on your lips. To you, life is good and
you will get what you wish for. You will fall
for someone who is himself, and lets you be
you.

Please rate aaaaand… eat chocolate bars?
*cough*rate*cough* ^^
What Love are you Fated for? ~AWESOME anime pics!~
brought to you by Quizilla

Category: misfits

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Million ringgit fairy-tale wedding the talk of the town

This is amazing… and Mr. Joshua Beh has my utmost respect… may your love last for all eternity…!

Category: perhapslove

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Why do people stay on in unhappy relationships?

I am sure most people would know of at least one couple who stayed together even though they are unhappy, or unsatisfied with each other.

I have a friend – let’s call her Zee. She has been going out with this guy for the longest time. They have been through many breakups. But they always get back together at the end of the day. Some might call it fate. Or some might say that it’s convenient.

In a survey, when asked, why do people get married, or get into relationships? The majority answered – to have someone to do things with. Yes, the answer is as simple as that. When you are married or when you are in a relationship, whenever you want to do something – be it – going for a meal, movie, or shopping, or simply lazing around at home – you always know that you have someone whom you can do these activities with.

Back to my friend Zee, our meetups are getting more and more depressing. When I first got together with J about 5 years ago… when Zee saw how happy we were, she attributed it to us being in the ‘honeymoon’ period – where everything is bright and rosy. She said that she and her bf used to be like that too. Just wait till 3 years later…. and now, J and I have been going out for 5 years, and yes – like any other couples, we quarrel and argue occasionally. But I think the love and respect between us is apparent…

We met up with Zee last week. And during one of our conversations, she commented, ‘you guys (still) look very happy together’ – and i was just thinking to myself – if I am not happy, I will not stay on in a relationship.

Which brings me back to the question – why do people stay on in unhappy relationships? Why do we always hold out hoping things will one day change? Why do we put up with partners that do not respect us? We only live once. And we deserve to be happy. If you are no longer happy, maybe it’s time for us to move on. Yes – easier said than done.

But if only we could just try.

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Why he loves Singapore more than KL???

 

I had such a good laugh on Thursday! Went to the hairdresser in the afternoon… second time this week. I just went on Tuesday to highlight my hair. But the colour did not turn out to be what I wanted. The good people at Monsoon ID (wonder if they will sponsor my hairdo too? like what Kimage did for xiaxue ? haha!) were very nice – they said – if you are not happy with it, come back and we will do it again free of charge… if you come back within the week. After countless people not realising that I have actually done anything to my hair (sob sob), I thought I should go back.

Anyway – A, who did my hair on Tuesday was busy attending to some other customers, so I had the honour of having the head hairstylist D redo my highlights. He is so hilarious. He made me laugh so hard… it’s just so funny that I have to relate this story to you… It’s not meant to make fun at him, but he just made my day, I was in smiles all day, thinking of his story! 🙂

D is in his mid thirties, who looks more like in his late twenties. (When I told him that, he was like wah… ok la, don’t you worry, I will make sure you look beautiful ok? I will wash your hair nicely.. wahlau! As if I am only saying it to flatter him…) Anyway, he’s of medium height, medium built. I suspect that he’s gay… Anyway for the record, I am not homophobic, and even though I do not have many gay friends, I respect all sexual orientation and preferences… 🙂 ok, back to my story…

He used to work in Singapore for 8 years, and after having his PR application rejected twice, he thought, “Fine… you don’t want me, I will go back to KL!”But he confided in me, Actually… I prefer Singapore to KL ,” and of course me being the kepoh (nosy person) who travels between the two cities frequently asked him why… “Oh, I love to sun tan,” …. erm, not convinced, I asked… “But you can sun tan in KL as well can’t you? Is the sun in Singapore hotter?” “No la! Where do you want me to go sun tanning in KL? Port Klang ar? At the loading and unloading bay where people are bringing in their goods and containers? Cannot-la… they think I crazy…” Hmm, guess he has a point there.

“The only place I can go sun tanning is Port Dickson, but that’s so far! And I have to drive 45 minutes to get there… when I first get back to KL, I drove down to PD every weekend to suntan. All my friends thought I was crazy!” I have to say I agree with them.

I asked, “Why don’t you sun tan at home then?””Oh ya? I stay at a condo(minium), so one day I went to the poolside to sun tan. And after awhile, I fell asleep… suddenly I felt someone poking me at my arm repetitively… I woke up to see the security guard standing beside me… ‘OI! You OK-tak?’ (are you ok in Malay) I told him… ‘Apa pasal? I tinggal kak sini… sedang sun tan!’ (What’s wrong? I live here. I am suntanning!) ‘OH, tak ada apa la, makcik-kak situ takut you ada apa hal…’ (Oh, the aunties over there thought something’s wrong with you)”

Oh my goodness, if I wasn’t refrain by the fact there were lots of aluminium foils stuck my hair, I would have really rolled down on the floor and laughed… It’s the way he said it, with his facial expressions that made it all so funny…”Oi… you laugh la at me. You very evil la… laughing at my expense… I am telling you a real story about how I suffered and you just keep laughing…”

By the way, the entire conversation was conducted in Cantonese, so it was a lot funnier…

“Then I decided to pay and go to some public swiming pool to sun tan… then all the people there treat me like some museum artifact… all stand around and look at me…”

Is sun tanning such a rare sight in KL? Hmm, I guess it must be, among the locals… “Then why don’t you just sun tan at your balcony la?” I quipped. “Balcony… don’t want la! What if the kids upstairs throw things down from their balcony. Then not turn out to be sun tanning, but because rubbish bin… what if they throw down a refrigerator?” Wah!!! Kids nowadays so strong ar?

“Oh ok… then how now? Where do you sun tan?””Aiyah, I give up already la… anyway, the people here don’t like boys who are too tanned… they like boys to be like fair… so fair… like Snow White.”

Oh, I see. I never knew THAT. “So you see (pointing at his own arm)… I quite fair already la, I give up already… last time just take one bus to Sentosa then can sun tan… now… aih…”

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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Not interested in dating?

 

Singaporeans are not interested in dating?

Do you know what is the No. 2 book at BORDERS Self-Help Books Top 20? John Gray’s Mars and Venus on a Date… Interesting fact huh?

Have had an extremely interesting day. After the last disastrous appearance on TV, I have decided to take up a personal make-up course! Wow… I never thought I will live to see that day… me… in a make-up course. But guess what, I totally enjoyed the session! 3 hours of make-up… oh no! I am turning into a vainpot!!! 🙂

As they say… there are no ugly women, only lazy women… 🙂 Am at McD with hubby. Waiting to catch “Just like Heaven”. Poor hubby who has been forced into watching a chick flick… oh well… I watched “Doom” with him after all… so all’s fair in love!

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Category: perhapslove, dating101

 

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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the simple truth

An email from a friend…

From: alexSent: Tuesday, November 01, 2005 10:24 PMTo: ‘Violet’Subject: saw you on the tv 🙂

And you look so good. 🙂

All the best to your Malaysia venture. If you need any help let me know ya. Cheers.

Warmest regards, Alex

* * * * *

Bumped into my ex-personal trainer at lunch today. Well, when I signed up with the gym, they assign you a personal trainer that trains you for 3 times. I think gyms are a rip-off for people like me!!!! But, anyway, that’s another post altogether. Anyway, the first thing he said was – hey! I saw you on TV last night – and you look good!

* * * * * 

Hmm… so that means, despite my complaints of the bright pimple on my left cheek, and my puffy eyes, I actually look good? Or were they just being nice?

Makes you wonder sometimes doesn’t it?

When people do not pay us compliments, we get upset, and when they do, we wonder if they really mean it? Or are they just saying it for the sake of saying it?

Isn’t it sad that we get so paranoid sometimes? We wonder about people’s motives. We scrutinise their intentions. When… it is simple really… they simply are… telling the truth. But because of our own insecurities, we do not believe it.

The dating game is the same isn’t it?

Relationships sometimes dissolve based on the fact that one party does not believe that he/she is good enough for the other party. And they start wondering “what if?” What if there’s someone out there who is better for her? What if he’s better off with someone else? What if she meets someone who’s better than me? And despite all the reassurance… they just cannot get over themselves.

And finally one day, their partners are just too tired to carry on.

Too tired to keep reassuring him/her that…I truly love youfor who you are, andthat’s the simple truth.

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Category: musings

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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News

We were featured on news last night.

Managed to catch the one on Channel 5 and Channel News Asia.

Apart from the fact that I had a huge pimple on my left cheek and my eyes were puffy and they spelt my name as ‘Sim’ instead of ‘Lim’, I think it went pretty well. 😉

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Category: playingmatchmaker

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Violet Lim

VIOLET LIM is a real-life modern matchmaker who has founded Asia's leading lunch dating company Lunch Actually (www.lunchactually.com). Violet is the bestselling author of the dating book 'Lessons From 15,000 First Dates'. She is also an acknowledged dating and relationship expert who has been featured on more than 1000 media coverage including ABC News 20/20, Bloomberg, CNBC Asia, CNN Go, Channel News Asia, USA Today, TV Tokyo and Singapore’s National Day Video 2005 as one of Singapore’s most aspiring people. Violet is happily married to her university sweetheart Jamie and they have two young children.

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